Bible Study - 2 for 1, oh the irony

I went to a Bible study that is going through the entire book. I happened to catch them studying David, my personal favorite (right behind Jesus of course). It was really refreshing just to be around the Word, but the best part was talking to the other attendees afterwards.

Renee - the aunt of one of Scott, one of the premed guys I work with, was conveniently there, and although she had to jet to take care of some kids, I was really encouraged to see her again. She had us over to her house for dinner a couple weeks ago and it's always awesome to reconnect and realize you both worship the same God.

Random Khmer Christian - guy runs some hostels for poor children who cannot afford anywhere to live while they are in school. He makes it possible for them to get an education and stay off the streets. He also owns a garment factory (eww, you're wearing garments) and I sincerely believe that God will make that guy rich some day so that he can share his wealth with his country.

Buntha Ly - this kid rocks. He is living in Kampong Ch'nang provence working as an English teacher AND preaching the Gospel to all the Muslims that live there. Major score. He's 24 and told me he needs more courage. Ha. He lives in risk of being killed every day, but he goes back. He was kicked out of his house for believing in Christ, "If you say Jesus will provide for you, then you don't need me" said his grandfather. I guess Jesus did because that was 5 years ago.

He works with a pastor out there and approaches Muslims by asking them to study Jesus, who they claim to believe in, but most ignore. He then shows them how they can pray to the LIVING prophet and the LIVING God and pretty much just ignores the whole Muhammed thing. Genius. I too many times feel the need to defeat non-truth before introducing Christ, but it's the TRUTH that sets us free, not the negation of the non-truth.

About that 50 bucks from the other night... I couldn't give it away because I was doing it out of self-righteousness. I gave it to Buntha tonight instead so he can share the GOOD NEWS with more people living in oppression. Boo-ya Buntha. And God.

I just had to post again tonight. I didn't want to forget this stuff. Maybe I'll skip a day or something.

Pulling Off the Blinders

WARNING: Harsh reality below. Reading this may make you cry (it made me cry seeing it), it may steal your innocence or it might just offend you. Regardless, this is my experience.

Let me begin this by saying I went to a brothel last night. It wasn't really what I expected. First of all, I wasn't going there for sex, which I imagine gives me a skewed perspective. Secondly, I was praying for the people there, both the customers and the... merchandise. That's a crude way to refer to a human, but that's what it seemed like to me.

I expected to see scantily-clad, rough-looking, apathetic and beaten-down women, most of whom had seen better days. Instead, I saw a group of friends in their mid to late teens watching Tom & Jerry and laughing at the antics of the cartoon mouse outwitting the cartoon cat. Their attire was more akin to that of a middle school party than a dirty movie. I tried to make eye contact to convey a sense that I saw them as people, but was almost universally ignored. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I think I would have preferred to live in the ignorance of my stereotypical ideal rather than the unassuming acceptance of reality.

The customers sat across the room from the girls and watched. They didn't smile or flirt or anything, they just spoke to the pimp when they were ready to choose a girl and left the room with her in tow. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't emotional. The girls never seemed afraid or reluctant, more like day laborers watching the clock, waiting for 5 to hit.

At first I wasn't really shocked or anything. The sheer normality of the situation was sadly unnerving. I almost wished that it had been more dramatic. It would have been easier to respond to emotionally. What finally made things sink in for me was when I started praying for each girl individually. When you look someone in the face and recognize that they are a child of God, you cannot help but have compassion on them, no matter if they are a prostitute or the wealthy executive of a Fortune 500 company. Each of us bears His image. Each of us tarnishes it in various ways. It tore me up to realize that each girl in that room had a father and a mother and a God who loved her and because of the unequal distribution of wealth, she sells her body every night.

Sure there are girls who choose prostitution because it's an easy buck. But when a hooker costs less than a number 3 on the McDonald's Value Menu, something tells me most of them aren't there by choice, but by desparation. Desparation because they can't feed themselves or their families any other way. This society takes away access to education and job training for many women forcing them to either marry or seek out their own fortunes. Oh wait, most women can't really be entrepreneurs over here. It's getting better, but it is still oppressive.

It's hard to get excited about the massive tibial fracture that we repaired this morning, or the several IV's I got to place with the above as the background noise. But I did. I'm not sure how the resolution of me loving and enjoying my life while maintaining a genuine compassion and outreach for the broken will come about. Maybe it won't. I know I can't live my life the same way I have been, but I do not know what that will mean.

I know that next year, I will go skiing and I will go climbing and I will eat expensive food and drink expensive drinks. Can I justify that as a Christian? Sure. Should I?

A Day in the Making

Another slow day at CSC. but another viciously intense day in the Kingdom. I didn't scrub in today, but did watch some miraculous things. I would be remiss to discount the awesome things that happen at CSC every day. An infant with a bilateral (a.k.a. really messed up) cleft lip and maxilla was given a new face today. A child whose fingers were fused together on both hands was given digital liberation (couldn't resist). And it was amazing walking through the lines of patients just saying hi and seeing the brilliance and gratitude radiate from their faces. People here, indeed everywhere, take so much pleasure in simply being acknowledged.

On a quick side note, Samnang took me to a local restaurant tonight. Trash all over the floor, open air dining, Cambodians sitting at tables, vendors selling fried grasshoppers and dirty postcards, all these graced our dining experience tonight. We grilled beef, shrimp, squid and veggies on a propane grill placed on our table and it was excellent!! I love dining local.

The vicisous intensity of the day mostly stems from my reflections on The Irresistable Revolution. I don't find anything this guy says incredibly new or different. It's just that he's taken so many theoretical things about Christ and His teachings and lived them out. Holy crap. I really want to do that. As I've been tossing around what that looks like for me, it definitely involves some life changes.

I need to get rid of more stuff. I'm realizing that stuff is a real hindrance to the Kingdom. So Mom, when I come home and start giving away childhood toys and stuff, be prepared, or hide them before I get there. I want to know poor people. I want to hang out with them. Going to Seattle will offer me a real opportunity to run into that community, and I'm pretty stoked about it.

However, I realized today that my trip to Ecuador isn't just about surfing, salsa and Spanish, but that I may actually be serving the Kingdom down there as my primary mission. I think I will have the chance to live with other Christians, and actually need what they have to offer me. I will meet the poor and the rich and the destitute and offer life to all of them. Not life that I have myself, but life that is flowing through me as the river of the Holy Spirit. I'm done trying to talk people into faith in Christ. It's time for me to walk out my faith and invite people to TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD.

When the Rubber Meets the Road

I did something tonight I don't usually do. I walked. Not just a quick jaunt to a nearby restaurant, but nearly an hour's worth of Chaco's and pavement. I was driven to solitude by the immensity of Jesus Christ in this world.

It's been a whirlwind of a day. I assisted on some cool orthopedic surgery this morning and got to turn wrenches on this crazy device for compressing bones in a leg fracture, it felt kind of like being an auto mechanic. This afternoon I literally sliced open a guy's face to drain an infection, and while you're in the throes of being grossed out, let me say it was SWEET.

But all that aside. This will feel totally artificial if I don't just bare everything, so here goes.

I stayed at Dr. Gollogly's house last night because I didn't feel like coming back to where I'm staying late. I woke up at 8 with a vivid recollection of the dream I'd just had about a girl I really miss (it was an innocent dream, give me a break =). It was a rough thing to wake up to and it took me a while to get my head focused to start the day. After surgery I decided to walk back to my place; it just seemed like the right thing to do. [When I got there, one of the little kids that lives there came running up to me so I'd pick him up, that's a great feeling.]

I started reading a book she recommended to me, which was a stretch for me considering how the day started. Again, it seemd like the right thing to do. I was rocked and absorbed. I don't even know how to express this in coherent thought, so I'm resorting to bullet points.

• My vision has been skewed and I had forgotten that God really is doing new things in the world with this generation. I remember knowing that last summer, but I haven't *known* that in a while... until today.
• I don't want to be a surgeon. I want to be a doctor that is a direct part of the community and talks with people and gets to know them, and cares for them when they are sick. [warning: impulsive] Let me expand on this: The way to transformation is through love. I want to become a part of a community, show them what love looks like and allow that love to permeate that community. This means giving wildly of myself until it becomes contagious. Is this a pipe dream? I don't think so, but who knows where God will lead.
• I hope normal people don't think/obsess like I do, because I think this world would be crazy. I think about things I am passionate about, including food, God, girls, sweet motorcycles that I will never own and crazy ideas for how I will live my life as a sold-out follower of Christ.
• I would be satisfied in this life if God was my only refuge.
• After I finish writing this, I'm going to go find someone poor and hand them 50 bucks from the Changepoint money. I want to know what it feels like to give someone money for no other reason than they don't have any. Maybe I'll work up to giving away my own money. Heck, I'm happy to do that for people I know and love... why not people I don't know and love anyway?
• It had been resolved in my head that rich Christians should try to appeal to rich non-believers in their circle of influence by remaining in a rich community. What if the rich Christians joined the poor and invited non-believers into THAT community?
• Bad news: I think about things much more seriously than I do them. Good news: I am growing into the image of God.
• Yikes, I'm all stirred up again.

I appologize for the sporadic nature of this post. I'm feeling very impulsive and charged up right now and wanted to get some of these thoughts written down. There was a lot more going through my head that just didn't survive the hour-long walk to the internet cafe. But this I am confident of: God is preparing me for great adventures in this life and the next. His way will be the best.

A Night and a Day

Sebastian and I stayed out late last night on the beach, mingling with the other tourists and stuff. As is prone to happen, I got into a conversation about Christ with one of the girls there. She had a really strong personality, so I felt pretty free to speak boldly.

She believed in things like "fate" and "harmony" but not in an actual personal God. All of the miraculous stories in my life, she attributed to either coincidence or explained them away. I challenged her logical irresponsibility at believing in a relativistic worldview and she responded pretty emotionally without actually contending the points I was making. She finally got offended when I started insisting that she knew the Truth, but was doing everything in her power to put herself in the driver's seat. I guess it's scary to think that some one else knows more about you than you do. She had also been turned off by religion because of her childhood... a circumstance I seem to run into a lot over here. This does not help my love of organized religion.

So after reflecting on our conversation, I appologized for my aggressive tone. It's not a way I usually talk to people now, but it's definitely how I used to. It was interesting to analyze myself and realize that I hadn't really been acting out of love, but out of a sense of competition. Bummer. So I repented and learned something, and suffered the consequence of a limited group of other people to dance with for the rest of the night. I think she told her friends I was a jerk or something. She was probably right.

Today I finished reading the Old Testament! That's been a work in progress since August I think, but the 4.5 hour bus ride from Sihanoukville to Phnom Penh provided the perfect occaision to get through the last stretch... I need to write more about that some time too.

This morning was nice... the beach was cool and breezy and it was a good day to leave. It had just started to rain when we were packing up. So we said goodbye to the throng of beach vendors, mostly cute little kids who'd just as soon play with you as sell you something... although they always come back to the "Mista, buy one?" It's nice being back in Phnom Penh tonight though.

God is doing His healing work on me and I'm feeling the effects of it. My mind is being renewed and it will not be long before God is at the center of my life once again. Consequently, I'm smiling a lot more lately.

Eating the Fruit

While eating fresh pineapple on the beach, I was mulling over the problem of sin and grace. It seems that the people who have embraced sin the most are the most grateful for God's love and understand it at a level that others cannot. Jesus says those who are forgiven much have much gratitude. This seems backwards to me, but the Spirit was in a teaching mood today.

The fruit, what does this have to do with pineapple? I thought of Adam and Eve, and their first experience with sin. They ate the fruit with the promise of becoming "like God" knowing good and evil. So indeed, they came to understand more of life and both extremes of good and evil. Would they have been better off not understanding. Hmm... yes. Was their anything magical about the fruit? Probably not, but our temptation is the same every day. We can indulge in evil and gain more knowledge... become more like God, or we can choose life.

I've seen parallels like that in my own life, times when I have chosen the knowledge of good and evil over living with God. And I find that He responds to me much how He did to Adam and Eve. He covers me and mourns the broken relationship, but allows me another chance at relationship with Him, albeit with redefined interactions. I could go off on this for a lot longer; it's definitely worth thinking about.

Covertly I've just described most of my day to you. I lay around thinking, reading, praying and basking in the sunshine. The above is the coherent consolidation of all that. The excitement of my day came after a walk down the beach to chill with my French Canadian friends (the cutest one has a boyfriend... dang). I'm surrounded by wonderful people here.

On the way back, I saw a little kid with a soccer ball, so I stopped and motioned for him to kick it to me. When he finally got up the nerve, he rallied it over my head and into the beach chairs behind me. I couldn't stand for that. So I gave him the ball back and he started shooting on me (I played a little goalie in high school). Soon there were 8 or so kids taking turns shooting on the American. Eventually, a full-fledged soccer game erupted on the beach. My team won.

After a quick, awkoon, ree ree-ay nah diahl banh chobe neh (thank you, very nice to meet you) and a dip in the ocean, I returned to my friends on the beach. Tonight will probably involve some really cheap food and drinks, and maybe some dancing!!

I had some sweet conversation about Jesus today too, both with my med friends and the French Canadians. Love talkin' about that guy.

A Day at the Beach

I realized today that I could live many places. Growing up I thought Alaska was the only place for me, but it is not Alaska that draws me, but the beauty of Creation. That beauty is exceptionally apparent in my home state, but it is seen worldwide. Watching the Cambodian sunset behind a foreground of the beach, ocean and palm trees was quite spectacular this evening, and I know now that it is not necessarily Alaska that I am enamored with, but the creative beauty of our Lord.

Today was a great day of healing. I've been reading through the Bible since last fall and made some good progress today, but more importantly, I got into the Sermon on the Mount. Talk about the core truth of life. It's all right there. I think I could probably read that every day and be changed. Each little paragraph has so much depth and wisdom to it that I just stand in amazement. It was great reading that while on the beach and having the time to reflect on different statement individually. So much truth in such a small space!

I guess the main point that stuck out to me was desiring God's righteousness and not being swayed by anything. I don't really know what that looks like, and I know we can't get it by trying harder, but that it comes through eagerly awaiting (Galatians 5). Still, it's a great thing to desire.

I had a great day of laying on the beach, chasing off little kids trying to sell my necklaces, skillfully avoiding massage vendors (except once) and breaking away from as many other people trying to dip into my wallet as possible. I wonder how much I would spend if I just gave every person what they asked for. It's hard to say no to guys dragging their legs around while I'm sipping on a coconut shake. I end up not saying no a lot I think. I got some good pictures of several of the vendors I think.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow... more of the same laying around, reading the Word, going swimming in bath-temperature ocean water and getting sunburned. Good stuff. I've met some great people here and have really enjoyed the company of some kids from Quebec. We all went to dinner at a teppanyaki style restaurant tonight and are now on our way out to enjoy the night life of Sihanoukville... enjoy your weekend! I got to tell a girl that God is crazy about loving her today. It made me smile. Mostly because she asked the question, "If I don't love myself, who will?" I love knowing the God who has answers to questions like that.