A few words on medicine

Needless to say, this last month or so has been an experience. Another step in a series of life-altering events that, when the dust clears, will leave me with my head spinning and the tools of a physician at the tips of my fingers. How does such a thing happen? I actually wasn't sure it would, or at least didn't see how. But things are becoming clearer... one patient at a time.

For all the books, lectures and clever mnemonics, nothing compares with a living, breathing, feeling illustration of disease. And while that may sound like a morbid perspective of a human life, it is the stark truth that there are many names that may fade from my memory, but processes of illness that are indelibly etched in my mind for having known the face bearing the disease.

Another morbid truth I have come to accept is that intimacy with death highlights certain people in my mind. I could spend days upon days getting to know a patient, but my recollection of them is now dim in comparison with the vividness of one known briefly who is no longer among us. A code called last night found me in a line of people waiting to be the next to pump a heart that had stopped beating. As I compressed his chest, I briefly closed my eyes to connect with our Father, the one who made and knows intimately both me and the dying man beneath me, asking for His protection over both of us. Moments later, a pulse returned on the monitors and the resuscitation continued. In short, success, at least temporarily.

I don't mean for this all to come across as dark, it's just that the most profound moments are the ones that leave a lasting impression. Overall I've had an absolute blast on this rotation. My team has been wonderful and I will miss them when I come back to Alaska. I have less than two weeks left now and intend to make the most of them. While I don't anticipate a future in internal medicine, what I am doing right now is a joy.