A True Beauty

This week's episode is brought to you by Solstice Cafe, a favorite venue for long study sessions, some good brew of the stimulant or depressant varieties, or just a quick stop in to catch up with the current trends in edge music. To start off an evening of studying, grab yourself a cup of coffee and a peaches and cream scone, or to wind down after a long day, tap into their rotating selections from Elysian Brewing. You're can't go wrong at Solstice! Now, back to our (ir)regularly scheduled broadcast...

Confident that nothing else could go awry, our heroes spent a pleasant half hour en route to the quaint little town of Surrey.

Rossulous Maximus: "Gosh Davius Awesomnis, it feels great to have all those foul knaves behind us. Surely our luck is about to change for the better!"
Davius Awesomnis: "I concur my esteemed compatriot. Tis a grand day for fine fortune."
Rossulous Maximus: "Ahhh... how pleasant a half hour this has been... but Davius, does not your... umm... toyota pickup... normally make that ticking sound?"
Davius Awesomnis: "By Jupiter, it surely does not! Quick! Crawl under this rapidly moving transit and give a differential diagnosis of its ailment!"

Braving the extremely-nearby, rapidly-moving countryside Rossulous lowered himself into the undercarriage much like the renowned warrior, James Bond. With extreme horror, his eyes came to rest upon a bomb firmly affixed to the frame with a bright, flashing 30:00, 29:59, 29:58 light staring him coldly in the face. After futile attempts at deactivating it, he returned to the cab in a smooth, 70 mph tuck-flip through the window.

By consensus, he and Davius agreed that the only reasonable option was a race against the clock to their awaiting destination. Failure was not an option. A tense 25 minutes passed.

Devoid of the resources needed to zero in on their destination, they circled the area where they knew the beauty to reside, but the clock was ticking. With only minutes left, they elected to abandon their trusty steed to the streets of Surrey and take off on foot. As they sprinted down the byways, through the trees, over bridges and through groomed yards, they could feel the ticking of the clock as a weight upon their souls, a pacemaker on their emotions and a fine example of sinus bradycardia.

Bursting through a hedge, guided by pure instinct (and conveniently-placed street numbers), all thought and emotion vaporized, replaced by a radiant glow encompassing them in its brilliant light and goodness.

KJ the Keeper: "You have arrived, with only seconds to spare."
Rossulous Maximus: "Seconds to spare?? You knew of the bomb?"
KJ the Keeper: "Yes. It was necessary to insure your prompt arrival. Fear not, for I have deactivated it."
Rossulous Maximus: "You are most... uh... kind. Now, you must know my purpose in being here, yet you look not dressed for combat?"
KJ the Keeper: "Combat we shall not engage, but ritual rather. Join with me in the most ancient dance of The Sale and The Title."

What happened next must not be spoken, for it is a sacred ritual passed down through the ages...

-- Break of character --

Okay, I thought I was going to finish this thing and talk about the registered importer meeting me for vehicle inspection and the border crossing that took 4 hours because the computers broke down and the triumphant return to Seattle, but this has dragged on long enough (despite it being really fun to write), so without further ado, I present to you the fruit of our adventures, a rare feast for your eyes, a most noble vehicle: the diesel, the 4 speed, the 1988 Toyota Land Cruiser!!!!!


And there was peace throughout the land.