Chasing Cars

Mom - you might, cancel that, you definitely, won't enjoy reading this one and will have a happier life if you just close the window now.

That warning also goes for the rest of you who don't believe that I am actually James Bond in disguise.

With that said, man, sometimes my life explodes in momentary bursts of awesomeness. Usually, not intentionally. Wednesday was just a typical day... met some random guy on the street in the U district to buy car speakers (woo hoo!), went to my tropical medicine class, sat through repro and path... blah blah blah... attended a training class so we can give free sports physicals to low-income middle-school kids, then hit up the climbing gym for a little while. It was when I realized that I had a 30 minute bike ride to complete and only 15 minutes before I had to be at Bethany Community Church that the trouble started.

I booked it up the Ave on my bike, snagged a left on Ravenna and was making good time. As I cruised up to the various stop signs, I would time myself so that I wouldn't have to actually stop, but could just ride in the shadow of a car that happened to be crossing the intersection at the same time as me. Make sense? I cross at the same time as a car, rather than trying to compete with everyone else for my turn at the stop sign.

So I was cruising up to the 5-way stop at Green-Lake that has lots of diagonals and weird turning patterns. It's confusing as heck. So I was more than happy to jump on the tail of a car in my lane that was just ahead of me. It was probably a little too far ahead of me in retrospect, but it seemed like a great idea at the time. So I was pedaling hard, trying to catch up to that car when my eyes got big and I saw the oncoming car turning right behind the car ahead of me... and accelerating.

I kept waiting for him to brake, to show some sign that he was acknowledging my presence on the road, but no, he was intent on getting through that hellish intersection at top speed. Neither slowing down nor speeding up was an option for me, so I elevated my center of gravity and prepared for impact.

It was spectacular. A brilliant crash swept my bike out from under me and threw me onto the hood of the speeding car, rolling me over before depositing me on the ground with a few more departing rolls for good measure. After taking a quick self-survey, I assessed that I was indeed still alive, and confirmed that my health had not rapidly deteriorated, information which I relayed to the concerned driver of the vehicle. Ensuring that all of my bodily parts were still intact, I straightened the handlebars on my bike, which had been thrown all out of whack, briefly looked for any debilitating deformations and hopped back on, determined not to miss my deadline.

I was stopped by a horde (two or three) of concerned passersby. They demanded that I must be injured after such an explosive interaction, but I assured them I was fine, wearing a helmet and that my training as a soccer goalie has indwelled me with sufficient falling skills to land on all the right parts.

I made it to my final destination on time and safely transported my passengers from downtown to their evening abode. Mission accomplished.