Lessons in Humility strike again (1/2)

Ever have those days when you know what you're supposed to learn from the hard things you're facing, but you just don't care and you want it to be made right??

Welcome to Monday. Having been here for 3 weeks, I assumed I would be given a bit more liberty in the OR and much to my delight, I was offered the opportunity to assist on thoracic cases... on Monday.

Up to this point, I've gotten to assist only a couple times, with the majority of my time being spent watching and leaning over the surgeon to help retract. Reminiscent of shadowing a physician during my 1st year of med school. In contrast, during my surgery rotations this year, I've done a below-the-knee amputation myself and assisted on neck dissections, opening the chest for heart surgery and multiple thoracic surgeries, not to mention doing a fair amount suturing upon closure for most cases. Coming to Peru, I was hoping to get even more hands-on experience while learning about endemic diseases.

So I showed up, on Monday, ready to get my hands a little dirty, but when I walked into the OR, the patient wasn't in the room. When I check again, they still were there... 30 minutes... 45 minutes... an hour... hour and a half and no patient. In fact, the surgeon that I'd met and was planning to operate with was nowhere to be seen either. I finally got up and sought out the anesthesiologists. They essentially told me that all of the thoracic cases were canceled for the day. Upon further inquiry, they informed me that thoracic cases are complex and they should have two real surgeons operating for all of them.

I wanted to scream in their faces that I have assisted on thoracic cases at the Oregon Health Sciences University Hospital and if I was good enough there, I should be good enough in Huancayo, Peru.

I managed to keep cool for the most part, but when one of the interns graciously offered to let me watch another laparoscopic gallbladder surgery, I should have said thank you and scrubbed for the surgery. But I told him, instead, that at this point, I don't have the humility to stay and watch anymore. He understood the situation. I left.

In speaking with my attending about the situation later, he explained that allowing me to assist is not necessarily illegal, but is borderline, and he believes that there was some concern about litigation. Still. It stung.