Seeing beyond

#1 question asked to me since returning to Alaska: "How do you like living in Seattle??"

The frequency of that question has allowed me to explore the many (accurate) responses I can provide to that question:

"It's great! There's always something going on!"
"I'm not much of a city guy, but as far as cities go, Seattle is pretty cool."
"I miss Alaska and I'm excited to get back up here."
"It's been tough living in a huge, pagan city."

Ooh, that last one sounded a little judgmental. But let's remember, this blog is about ME, not about everyone else. And I'M using those terms to describe a culture moving away from Christian majority influence. So before getting all huffy with me for calling Seattle "pagan" (and I know that's a generalization), consider that not all "Christians" necessarily like being pegged as a "Christian." I digress.

That discussion is NOT what this is about, but sets the stage for it.

If a car starts running out of oil, it basically freezes up with no warning signs except for a possible decline on some obscure gauge on the dash. I like to think that the Holy Spirit is kind of like that for me. And living in Seattle, I started running dry.

Since coming back up here, I have been surrounded by men and women of faith moving forward in their lives with Christ, walking in faith and power. Geez, I'd reduced the Gospel to simple logic and principle and forgotten all the good stuff!! God has reminded me that He is not just a thought, but that in seeking Him we learn who He is and we are filled! I may not be able to argue my way out of a paper bag, but I have experienced God, and He has chosen the weak things of this world to shame the strong. I count myself among the weak, as one unable to sustain myself.

It feels so good.

After realizing all this, I have a new response in my repertoire: Gratefulness.

I am thankful first of all for my friends down there. I have learned so much from them and shared some great times! I'm looking forward to continuing to get to know people and to meeting new people and all that fun stuff.

I am super excited to learn all the great stuff coming up in school and no matter what anyone else says, I DON'T hate school, I'm NOT sick of learning and some of the lectures are actually GOOD.

I'm really grateful for my church down there, for learning and growing and being filled. I look forward to getting more involved with them and hopefully having something to offer.

I'm ready to start skiing. So far, it's been mostly talk, but now that the snow has arrived, it's time to get down to business and lay down some tracks. Let's rip it up.

I love having awesome people to climb with too.

This was a good thing to write. I'm getting pumped up to be back in Seattle. Right now though, it's time to go hang out with the fam.

7 Things You Will Never Hear Me Say

Figured this blog needed to lighten up a little bit, get outside and have a little fun, so in response to Annie's challenge, without further ado...

1. "So when I was running this marathon..." I really admire people who can subject themselves to that kind of torture. Really. But the idea of running for the sake of running basically gives me mental cramps. It hurts to even think about it. I'd be happy to pass out water to my friends at marathons, but I'll content myself with running after soccer balls and propelling myself down mountains at high rates of speed.

2. "I could never date her, she's way too feisty." There's this dirty rumor going around that all guys who follow Jesus want nice Christian girls who are sweet, pleasant and follow the rules. Society has trained me to think that way too, but when I'm really honest with myself, I was a fireball, a girl who is playful, passionate, fully alive and free.

3. "That song had too many rockin' guitar solos." It's practically the sweetest thing in the world when some guy just rallies his guitar in the middle of a song. You can tell when a guy knows his guitar, because he makes her sing and it's so dang sweet. Conversely, I hate crappy solos when the lead guy can barely put 4 notes together.

4. "No, I'd never go to ______. That place is too poor/dirty/scary." Seriously. I have this great longing to go to the poor and dirty and scary parts of the world and love people. It is so much easier to show love to people when no one else does, because they are so dang receptive to it. I'm still trying to live that desire out more practically. Stay tuned, work in progress.

5. "Gross." I hate it when you're about to sink your teeth into some delicious bit of tastiness and then some goober at the table informs you that what you're about to immensely enjoy is actually disgusting and loathsome. Jerk. Go eat a tub full of butter and watch me not say a single word. If I ever say "Gross," I'm totally joking.

6. "Let's get online and watch movies previews!!!" There was a time when I enjoyed watching movie previews. Actually, that's a complete lie. They are the worst thing ever invented. Good idea: "Let's suck people in so they want to go watch the movie." Bad idea: "Let's tell the whole story and put all the funny parts in a preview to make people wish they could have their money back when they actually fall for our devious plot." People who talk about what happens in a movie you really want to see should have their tongues removed.

7. "Nope, can't go, gotta watch the big game." Given the option between playing sports and watching sports, it's a no-brainer. I really wish that I liked watching sports. It would give me something to talk about with people who do. I'm not entirely opposed to it even, I just can't bring myself to sit down and watch "the game" unless I'm actively hanging out with some one I care about. Then, it's okay.

Oppression through $$$

One of the perks of medical school is being constantly surrounded by brilliant people who have had very different life experiences than I. When we get together, we have such different things to bring to the table, and fiery, but friendly, discussions can ensue. A few of us really get into social issues and trying to predict the best ways to take care of the poor, the outcasts and the disabled. I'd just like to credit my wonderful friends for spurring and shaping the following thoughts.

Voting is a small way we can provide direction for our country, care for the underserved and have a hand in many social issues concurrently. However, there is a better way.

Every purchase I make is a vote. Whether I'm voting for one particular restaurant over another, or one particular clothing company, or one particular record label, I cast my vote with my 3"x2" chunk of plastic daily. Even which chunk of plastic I choose casts a vote.

I implicitly imply with each vote the business practices I approve of. Recently, Gap took action to stop child labor practices in several of its overseas factories, but that leaves you wondering... how could a commercial giant like this be employing sweatshops in 2007 to begin with?? I like Gap clothing, but by some of the purchases I have made, my money has been used to propagate the oppression of children in foreign countries.

As an alternative, I could have voted for Patagonia. They have been acclaimed for their efforts to protect the environment through responsible business practices, yet they still turn out quality products. Oh, and they are frequently acclaimed for working to ensure fair employment, not just for their own workers, but for other companies as well.

My point here isn't to knock Gap or prop up Patagonia, but to point out that who you buy from matters. If customers demanded that their products be made by fairly-paid and fairly-treated workers, no business that oppressed its workers could survive.

Here are a few resources to help inform your vote:

Do The Right Thing - A conglomerate blog on some of the top companies
Business & Human Rights - Great site for checking up on your favorite companies
Human Rights USA - activist company with regular news releases... check out what they say about Yahoo!

If I run into any others, I'll try to post them here.

I'll leave you with this:

"Do not oppress foreigners in any way. Remember, you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt." - Exodus 22:21

"Those who oppress the poor insult their Maker, but those who help the poor honor him." - Proverbs 14:31

"At that time I will put you on trial. I will be a ready witness against all sorcerers and adulterers and liars. I will speak against those who cheat employees of their wages, who oppress widows and orphans, or who deprive the foreigners living among you of justice, for these people do not fear me," says the LORD Almighty." - Malachi 3:5

"Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and should give generously to those in need, always being ready to share with others whatever God has given them." - I Timothy 6:17

A True Wannabe

We used to sing a little song in church growing up that was probably called "When I grow up..." It went something like this:

When I grow up, I want to be... (vigorous clapping)
I want to beeee a [insert profession here, i.e. doctor]
And if I am, I'm going to be... (more vigorous clapping)
A [doctor] whoooo's a Christian!!

Repeat as necessary to include all the dreams of the little kids in the group. Pretty sure we had cowboys, football players, firemen... you know, the usual suspects. Now despite "The Organization's" attempts to indoctrinate (pun, oops!) me, I've realized something recently.

My goal in life is not to become a good Christian whatever.

That is selling Christ so incredibly short and putting way too many blinders on the diversity and beauty of life. I was reading this morning about Mary and Martha's responses to Jesus being at their house. Martha was being the "good Christian woman" preparing food, cleaning the kitchen, setting the table, making sure all the kids were dressed appropriately, you know, because they had company. She got all hacked off at Mary who was in there lazing around listening to God speak.

Now this isn't to denigrate any of the aforementioned activities. I've been raised to have a large amount of respect for anyone who can cook, clean, organize, raise and coordinate, and even aspire to most of those things myself. The point here is the timing and the attitude toward God.

Fascination with people and Truth and full attentiveness to the ways in which God is moving in the world are all qualities that I desire much more than living by the norms. Sure, I want to have people over and cook for them, but when there is a precious moment to be shared, I also want to be the first one out of the kitchen.

This is where I tie it all together.

Some day, I'm hopefully going to be a doctor. Some day a patient is going to come in on the verge of tears wanting desperately just to talk and having no where else to turn. Efficiency, economy and propriety dictate that I take care of his/her medical concern and leave the emotional stuff to some one more qualified. This unnamed principle I've been pondering dictates that I drop everything else, reschedule my other patients and take the time to sit down and just allow some one to pour out there heart, giving them my full attention. I think that unnamed principle is called love.

When I grow up, I want to be, oh I want to be a doctor who is a passionate lover of people.

Physicianhood...ish. Part 2...ish

Every time I propose a brilliant theory for how life works, it gets tragically shot down... usually by me and before anyone else gets a chance. By the wonder of technology, I can now project a hint of what goes on internally to my friends or whoever searches for "Ross Baldwin" on Google. Try it. Top ten baby. Those other Ross Baldwins are going down.

I ran into a mental middle linebacker at the end of my last post. After establishing the core of who I am and my driving forces, I had a hard time coming up with anything intelligent to add. And because I can squeeze meaning out of anything, I figured out what that means. Here's my next attempt at explaining what should be better left to sociologists.

I detest and suck at (ATTENTION: Please leave a comment with a better word that can be used actively here, I'm failing to think of one and feel that it would be a valuable addition to my regular vocabulary) forecasting, and currently, I equate not forecasting with trusting God. I have a difficult time imagining what struggles I will face as a physician in the future. It's hard for me to worry about things, not because there aren't valid concerns, but because I sincerely have a hard time conceiving of unfavorable circumstances. Huh.

I don't know how to go about changing that, and I'm not entirely convinced that I should, except when it inconveniences others. Here's what I can, and daily attempt to, do:

I can shape who I am right now by the ideals insisted upon by my core values. That's what I do instinctively and it is where God meets me. If I say I want to be a physician who loves kindness, I need to love kindness. Here's a thought: I should treat my practice patients the way I want to eventually treat my actual patients. I should take off a weekend and go climbing every once in a while, but more often, I should give until there's nothing left, then give some more. I should do things not for the pleasure they bring me, but for the glory they bring God. I should wake up each day with the knowledge that love starts over at midnight, and it's a brand new day to show God and the people around me how much I love them. And always pressing on, to run in such a way that I will attain the prize, and never looking back.

And if something is going on that's not quite right, I should change it.

I heard an OUTSTANDING word this week (and actually, every week since I started going to Bethany and I'm not saying that lightly). Over the past month, the guy has systematically described what has happened to me over the last year up to where I am now and then rendered a God-centered view of how it has shaped me into a more faithful, humble and loving human. This week, I heard that no trend can replace Christ. Not the power of the Spirit, not social justice, not rocking worship music. It all comes back to Christ and if it doesn't, it starts feeling really hollow really fast. I identified with his bad examples in way too many ways. On the plus side, I heard how God continually peels back layers of defense and callousness to make us more valuable tools in His hands, and if we respond in faith to this painful process, we grow immensely...

"If you keep yourself pure, you will be a tool God can use for His purpose."

cool

A Reflection on "Physicianhood" - Part 1

So this is actually an assignment that we are completing in the South Campus Center as a small group. We just sat through a couple hours of lecture on "Physicianhood," which is basically all the gushy, emotional stuff attached to taking care of yourself and achieving "balance" as a physician. There were a lot of ideals put forward from the agnostic science-driven perspective about everyone's needs for love and approval and all that, and now I'm reflecting on what that means to me personally. Okay, end intro, here goes.

Christ is central to my life. Not central in the sense that I'm a Jesus superfan that goes to all His games and buys all his T-shirts and always bets on Him in the World Championships or whatever. Rather, He is central in the sense that my life is contingent upon His and that there is a flow that begins in Him that sustains and emboldens me. All of my philosophy, my "core values," and motivations derive directly from my understanding and knowledge of Him. This is not a convenient extract of a philosophy that I base on personal needs, but rather a realty that defines and reshapes my identity as I come to experience it more deeply.

So what do I do with all that? I'm more asking myself that than posing a brilliant rhetorical question. It means that my ideals as a physician, the standards to which I aspire, are not rooted in the values held by the medical community at large, nor even in my own personal beliefs and desires, but rather my ideals flourish where the Word has been revealed to the world. This is all very high-sounding talk simply to say that what God through Christ wants is what I want, even when I don't (temporarily) want it.

Some questions from the reflections paper we got:

What are your core personal values?

Rather than thinking about what pleases and motivates me most, I can respond with simplicity:

• Love.

More specifically:

• Seeking justice in the world I find myself in
• Delighting myself in kindness
• Recognizing my true strength and my true weakness in light of the glory of God.

I have not yet attained realization of those core values in my daily life, but to them I aspire and I persist.

After establishing such a base, my picture of physicianhood paints itself.

Physicianhood means committing everything I am and have to God and to the principles set forward by Him and learning how to share the light that I have with those around me, being Christ to a broken world.

Outro

I plan to finish up this writing assignment over the next few weeks to months, and I'll plan to post it up here as it takes shape.

Asking and Receiving

I haven't figured out that fine line that differentiates asking and receiving from asking and being rude. I've erred on both sides, but more frequently on the latter I would say. Nonetheless, I know that if I DON'T ask, I WON'T receive, so I persist.

A great example arose this weekend when I decided that a sunny weekend in western Washington was a terrible thing to waste studying, so I took off on Saturday for destinations previously unknown. I found myself hiking alongside a mountain stream punctuated by two impressive and one not-so-impressive waterfalls crashing through a forest of large evergreens. It was a peaceful and enchanting place.

The asking came when I realized that the picture of a tent with a circle-slash over it might apply to me. I inquired at the park manager office and found to my delight that I would be able to camp in certain areas of the park if I wasn't too obnoxious. What could have been merely a beautiful day hike turned to a wonderful solitary experience and some long-overdue time spent with my Creator.

This came on the coattails of procuring three tickets outside the door to a sold-out Jimmy Eat World concert earlier in the week. I had prayed that morning for friends to hang out with and ended up helping out a few friends who also were trying to get tickets. I was thankful to God for working through all things.

The following Sunday rocked me. I found a church. The music made me feel at home (Jars of Clay's "Hymn") and the message was all about God's tough love. He lets us experience the consequences of our actions, even when our actions lead us away from Him. Graciously, He is always there to receive us and help us when we decide to return.

A Random Assortment of Unrelated... stuff

I just got my ticket today for Thanksgiving... in Texas. It's kind of weird that I can go home to Alaska but I'm heading south. I guess that just means there are a bunch of people I love down there. I'm really looking forward to seeing all of them, both family and friends.

It's been weird settling into a city. I find it incredibly easy here to be surrounded by people, but not really know anyone. Acquaintances have always been difficult for me... not quite a stranger, yet not quite a friend. I've always been one for either meaningful relationship, or temporary interaction. On that note, I'm incredibly thankful for moving down here with 9 good friends from last year. Alaska WWAMI rules!!

Today made me realize it's about time to grow up. There were several factors that kind of converged at one time, giving me the epiphany that life requires discipline and determination. It also requires sensitivity to others' needs, and no matter how much I wish everyone would just be open and honest, that's not life. Sometimes, you have to play by societal rules and not take people at their word. You have to play the game of "guess what I'm REALLY thinking." Okay. I give. I'll play.

I realized that so much of the Word talks about us being righteous. Not that we don't have all the freedom in the world, but that application of that freedom looks a lot like legalism. We don't do things because they are rules, but because of how they impact our character and identity. In order to experience true freedom, we cannot separate our actions from our ideals. Everything must work together. Here's where the rubber meets the road.

We have all been given the capacity to do a lot with our lives, the time I have on Earth. I have the freedom to waste that time or to invest that time. I want to use my time wisely, to do well in school, to invest in other people, to serve and to enjoy the world God has given us.

I will never abandon some of my child-like behavior, but I am resolved to abandon childish behavior. I am resolved to give more than I take and to love more than I am loved. That's a tall order, but it's time to grow up.

2 down...

Dermatology and endocrinology.

Fast and furious for a few weeks and those classes are nothing but fond memories. I've finished both of those finals now (passed) and am now sorting out pharmacology, cardiovascular, urinary system and clinical medicine. It's hard to believe that classroom instruction in those areas is done. Sure I'll attend lectures and learn hands-on, but the good majority of my learning in those fields is done.

I feel like some one should come tell me that I haven't learned enough and I'll have to take the classes again. But I passed. And somewhat convincingly.

I'm a little excited about that, and it's nice to move on to new subjects.

That's pretty much it. It's just weird to be finishing classes already.

The final chapter on Daniel (in the Ecuador saga anyway)

Monday, October 1, 2007

Dear All,

As most of you will remember, at 4:30am on Monday, July 2, 2007, I got a phone call that rocked our world. I assumed it was from Africa where Eddie was doing mission work in Chimala, Tanzania with his brother Bill and Bill's wife, Cyndi. Instead I was stunned to hear it was Ross Baldwin in South America where he and our son Daniel were doing mission work in Ecuador. Ross was calling to tell me that Daniel was going to be ok, he had been shot in the stomach a couple of hours ago and was in surgery at that time. After a brief conversation (what is there to say at a time like that?) I prayed with Ross, especially asking for Daniel's complete recovery.

Well, we are more than grateful to our God above to say that our prayers (and yours) have been answered in a mighty way. Daniel headed out with the majority of his earthly belonging in his black Hyundai (that he is going to work on buying back from us -- its a long story) from Arlington after eating spicy Mexican food with Eddie and I at Taco Cabana at 1:30pm today. He headed to his new place to live in Abilene,Texas, almost exactly 3 months from that life changing day in July. After 3 surgeries and many adventures, we believe only 3 months is an incredible recovery.

Why now? We are so thankful to say that Daniel had his last medical visit on Thursday. The hole in his back has healed. His shingles healed up weeks ago. He is completely released from all doctors. Praise God for that. In fact, the medical supply people had UPS pick up his Wound VAC ( a.k.a. man purse) today. And he bragged a couple of days ago that the only medication he is taking is multiple vitamins (name brand, not generic, Dr. Hendrickson).

This has been an incredible saga. And we have been incredibly blessed. In some ways much of it seems like a blur now. But in other ways it is very, very real. To say it has been challenging is an understatement. But with all the struggles have come so many lessons learned and lives blessed. And of course, all that is important on an earthly level is that Daniel's prognosis is complete recovery with absolutely no aftereffects. Although he has much of his strength back compared to where he was in July, he still has to take some things easy. No heavy lifting, of course. He walks with a little bit of a hunch due to his abdominal muscles being weak. But he is still taller than most of us at 6'3" --hunch or no hunch. He is working on getting back into shape with long walks (do you walk 3 miles several times a week?). The doctors say it will be a year before he has all his strength back but he is released to do whatever he feels like. Some things still hurt, like jogging and sneezing. But he is coping well. Since he can't jog his Dad got one of his bikes adjusted for Daniel to take to Abilene. And Daniel informed us the other day that if you blow your nose when you feel like you might sneeze, the latter can sometimes be avoided.

What's in Abilene? A job soon, hopefully. He has applied for several hoping to use his business degree if that works out. Also there is a great support group of friends. Plus, his brother Jonathan, who lives in Lubbock is working on getting a computer job there so they can share a small, 2 bedroom rent house. Interestingly, both boys felt led to move to Abilene without knowing the other was going to move there. When Jonathan found out Daniel was moving there, that cinched the deal. Jonathan had already applied for jobs there. (Remember our family doesn't believe in coincidences.) So Daniel has made it to Abilene slightly sooner than Jonathan. As parents, we are very pleased with this development. Both are godly young men looking forward to serving the Lord in whatever ways He desires. They are like-minded in ways but very different in other ways so there will be lots of "iron sharpening iron" moments. Jonathan, who is younger by 17 months, just stresses he has put in his time and he won't share a room with his brother! Fourteen years was enough for him. So, it seems this is the answer to why Daniel didn't get to move to Seattle at the first of September as we had prayed. God had other plans as Daniel has noted in his blog.

Besides praising God, we can't say thank you enough to each of you for your love, concern, encouraging words, and many acts of kindness, such as bringing us dinner on many occasions. Also, thank you so much to those of you who contributed to Daniel's medical expenses. And of course, we are deeply thankful for all the prayers. We have been lifted up so many times. During the dark moments, God used so many of you to keep us going -- and looking up. This may sound goofy, but I am so thankful to live in the modern age where we have email to communicate to and be communicated with. Both were vital throughout the last three months. And the cards have been an intricate part of Daniel's healing as well as our encouragement. It was fun to watch Daniel look for the mail each day, anticipating if he would get any cards, as he often did. Thank you all.

Eddie and I are thankful for the care we received from so many with whom we work. When the going gets tough it is amazing how people come through and you can see how they deeply care about you. Church family has been awesome -- those from Pleasant Ridge and North Davis, from churches in Alaska and from churches many other places. We have felt your prayers. We are truly blessed. And of course there is earthly family. I can't express all the things you have done, from staying in the hospital overnight, to regular phone calls and cards and much more. Thank you for being there for us. Of course Sara Ann, who moved to Crowley, Texas, two weeks ago, gave up her summer for her brother. Thank you Baby.

So the saga that started in Ecuador 3 months ago on a potentially very low note ends on a high note today. I have continually prayed we will never be the same. In many ways things are back to normal. In only the last couple of weeks we have engaged in some things in life that we had not since before July 2nd (who cares to go to a bunch of social activities or the mall for that matter when these things happen?). Yet in other ways life seems changed forever. Some things that seemed important or irritating just don't seem to matter as much now. We are thankful Daniel has had this experience and look forward to how God will use it in his life in the years to come. In fact, Daniel told me before he ever left for Ecuador that he sensed that God was going to allow him to be in danger during his life. After Ecuador happened though, he said he never expected it to include getting shot! So we won't be surprised if more danger lies ahead. And we don't worry about that (Matthew 6:34). We just live our lives today and look for God to be God.

So today, prayers of thanksgiving. Prayers of awe to God for his abundance and love. And prayers confessing our weakness and moment by moment need for a loving Savior and friend. In crisis moments it is easier to rely on God. I pray that for you today you will rely on God if you are in a big crisis, a small crisis or no crisis at all. Its an awesome life to live (II Cor 1:8-11). God, forgive each of us when we forget that.

Again, thank you for your interest and concern. We are deeply humbled by your love! May God richly bless you and yours.

We are grateful to say that at the Stinson household, the saga has ended.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Sara Ann, Daniel and Jonathan

Nothing like warm cookies

Life has definitely been getting better the last couple weeks. Tonight, I celebrated absolutely nothing at all by making chocolate chip cookies. For some reason, I've been pining to make cookies lately. So I did. And they were good. And there was evening and morning, the 4th week of second year.

I also slept til 11:30 today. Because I could. It was wonderful. I rode my bike to school with Ted. I learned all about EKG's and catecholamines today in class! I listened to a lady talk about experiencing a heart attack at age 25 because of a genetic disorder, and while that doesn't sound particularly wonderful, she knew the Lord and spoke with love and truth and gentleness to a group notoriously skeptical and won their hearts. She admonished us that without wisdom and grace, our knowledge is nothing. I wanted to hug her. Then I ate some delicious Thai food on the Av. I went climbing at the UW rock gym with Ted and Josh and Melissa. And I made cookies. Did I mention they were delicious?

Why is life so good you might ask? Well, I guess because I've finally started pursuing God again. I've been pretty disagreeable with Him because of how He chose to do some things in my life last year, and I've finally come to the conclusion that being bitter only hurts me more. Life in the Spirit... there's just nothing like it. It's good to be moving that direction again.

So enjoy your day and give thanks to God for the ways He is blessing you in every moment.
And make chocolate chip cookies. Then, send them to me!

May I be so Bold... Yahoo!!

I am currently riding the bus having just left my HOUSE, which I am living in as people are known to do who are NO LONGER HOMELESS. Just thought I’d emphasize that. Praise God who provides and allows us to experience testing so that our endurance will grow. Although to be honest, I’ve had just about enough testing for one summer.

Here are the specifics on the house, cause everyone wants to know I’m sure. 2BR+ 1BA W/D D/W util inc big BY great neighborhood.

For those of you who are not fluent in Craigslist, that means 2 bedroom with an extra little room downstairs, washer, dryer and dishwaster, utilities included and a big backyard! All that for a mere $1400/month. Yikes. This is more rent than I have ever paid in my life times 1.5. But I’m grateful to have a place to call home. It even comes with old lady furniture (including beds). I made sure to replace as many decorations with weapons and outdoor gear as quickly as possible so as to not confuse any guests about my status as an old lady.

Not that I dislike old ladies. I’m actually rather fond of them and have even been related to a few in my day who were fine examples of human excellence.

One irony. I unpacked my stuff last night, including a watch that was still on Alaska time, so I am late for the med school a capella practice today. Bummer. I got a great night’s sleep though. In my own bed. In my own house.

Homelessness

I'm sitting in a coffee shop on Canal Street (which I highly recommend by the way) not out of choice, but out of desperation. Despite the fact that it is now 7pm, I have done nothing resembling productivity today. And I didn't plan anything because I had full intentions of studying diligently. The desperation part comes in when you start asking questions like: where else could I go to study? Nada. Homelessness is a nomadic disease devoid of direction and security.

All that after only 3 weeks. I hear some people live without a home for more than 3 weeks sometimes.

Of course, they're not scraping through medical school.

Then again, they don't have gracious friends who take them in.

I won't pretend that I have it nearly as bad as guys like "Guitar Man" who I enjoyed breakfast with today, but he seemed pretty content with life as he ate his sausage and cheese bagel sandwich.

The canal looks peaceful from here, a calming presense in this currently scattered mood.

The couple in the corner cuddles and steals kisses... obviously infatuated with each other and oblivious to the world quickly streaming by on all sides.

Who knew blogging could be so random and yet somehow therapeutic. This one was definitely more for me than for you.

With high hopes of healed homelessness hereafter,

Ross

Continued blogging affairs

After a conversation over wine with some dear friends/fellow travelers on this journey of medicine, I've decided to make an attempt at continued blogging. Thanks for the encouragement guys.

I'm still in search of a house, but hopeful. More and more places keep popping up that are closer to what I'm looking for. Kind of like women in my life. Huh.

In an attempt to more fully focus on God and prayer, I've given up food for a little while. I'm not sure how long this will last, but I'm predicting that I will have my first meal shortly after acquiring a new residence. Let's hope that comes sooner rather than later.

(saying this isn't to show how cool and spiritual I am, but more to encourage people to fast. I think it's underdone in our culture, and given the preoccupation many of us have with food [myself included], it strikes me as a good idea to remind ourselves who really controls our bodies. plus, lots of cool Bible people did it. like Jesus.)

Another random bit that excites: whilst wandering around Ravenna looking for a fax machine, I came across a retirement home. Brilliant!! Both close to my future residence (I hope) and the UW! One thing I really want to do here is get some good, old-fashioned dominoes going with good, old-fashioned people. It's really quite spectacular if you've never tried it. One of the activities I looked forward to attending back in my darker days of soul searching.

That's it for now... if anyone is still bothering to check this site, I hope you find my ponderings rewarding! I really enjoy writing them.

Ok. I'm really done.

For now.

Septemberly News on Daniel

Dear All,

What a magnificent week God gave us last week! Daniel had the usual 3 appointments for wound care but he also saw his Infectious Disease (ID) Doctor and his trauma Surgeon. Both were very pleased with his progress. Both moved his care to the next level - which I'll explain in a minute. Many things for which we praise God.

Dr. P (you couldn't pronounce his first and last name even if I spelled it out) is originally from India. When he was first asked to be the ID Doctor to treat Daniel's raging infections, he came in with a very professional, business attitude. You could tell he knew his stuff but he was quiet and we couldn't engage him. For example, we told him that Eddie, Sara Ann, Aunt Sara and I had been to India. Well, usually that starts a big conversation. People want to know what part of the country you visited and they tell you where they are from. And the conversation goes on from there. Well, Dr. P barely acknowledged we had said anything. He wasn't rude, just quiet. The Internist had told us he is quiet when he is worried. Well, on Tuesday morning of last week, he came in smiling, friendly and open to conversation. What a difference. Why the difference? He had a CT scan done the Friday before and it showed Daniel's infection was completely gone! As we conversed with him he stressed the seriousness of Daniel's condition when he arrived in the States but now was very positive and took Daniel off of IV drugs completely. No more spending 3-4 hours per day watching an IV drip for Daniel. So we no longer have a son who is an IV drug user! (ha!) Life is much more normal for Daniel. Thank you Lord. He just has to take oral antibiotics for 4 weeks as a precaution.

Then on Friday we went to see the surgeon. He is always friendly. He was happy with Daniel's progress. To stress how much healing Daniel had done and what the prognosis is he said that no matter what Daniel does the hole in his back is going to close. He can do any activity that he feels up to (and that a Wound VAC will allow). His sister has told him she wants a room painted!! Anyway, the trauma Surgeon discharged Daniel and said he didn't need to see him anymore. Praise be to God. So obviously Mom and Dad are grateful and doing better.

So, what about leaving the first week of September as Daniel had hoped? The hole is still there but not worrisome in the way it was. It is closing and there is skin growing around it. You can tell a big difference every time the nurses change the dressing (which is the only time you can see it). We are much encouraged by being able to see the dramatic healing God is doing. But it is still open. Also a further development. As of yesterday, Daniel was diagnosed with shingles. It is on his neck and scalp. A doctor told us that happens sometimes after someone has taken steroids. Daniel had steroids to counteract a rash from antibiotics a couple of weeks ago. So, obviously, God has plans for Daniel to stay around at least a little longer. Ok by us.

So, Daniel is on 5 different medications right now and has the Wound VAC (man purse) with him all the time. He began driving again on Saturday (he even drove me to the wound care visit on Monday, as it should be!). He said it took a minute for him to get the hang of driving - like staying in his own lane - but then it was normal after that. He has more energy in general. He is playing his guitar more. He is just doing more. For example, he drove to the park on Monday and walked for about 3 miles while it was still kind of cool. The only thing was the old ladies (like 40s and 50s he said- I gave him a hard time for that) were passing him. Sara Ann and I tell him we can still "take him" (down) at this point. But we know our days are numbered. And thankfully so. His strength is returning although the surgeon said it will be a year before he is completely back to normal strength.

Please continue to pray for his healing. The shingles are not very painful at this point but we understand they can be. So pray for freedom from pain. And while you are praying, praise God for your love and interest and support you have given the Stinsons in our time need. We certainly praise God for YOU!! The ordeal is almost over but the blessings from the outcome have not all been revealed yet. We look forward to that. God's blessings are new every morning. Without struggle, there is no growth.

Obviously Daniel will always have a testimony to give of God's love and care and how He spared his life. Pray that he will be used mightily by the Lord in His kingdom in the days, weeks and years ahead. How gracious our Lord is! When Daniel was only midway through his hospital stay in Ecuador and he was very foggy, I told him that 10 years from now if the conversation got slow or boring, he could just say something about the time he got shot in the stomach in Ecuador and that would get things going. My son who is usually sharp and with it looked at me and asked, "Why would I wait 10 years to talk about it?" Today he is clear headed and looking forward to God's continued working in his life -- if it is in Arlington Texas for a few more days or weeks or in Seattle or somewhere else after that. By this, we are much encouraged.

May God richly bless you today. May you see His hand on you. May you continually hear and respond to the Holy Spirit's prompting. And through that glorify the Lord and be blessed as well as be a blessing to others. May God lift you up today, no matter what your struggle.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann and Jonathan

The Latest

Dear All,

Overall, Daniel continues to progress well. The hole in his back continues to heal. It is less deep and skin has grown some on the edges of it. He usually has energy to get out some each day, even if it is going to another doctor appointment. He is still taking IV antibiotics 3 times a day which he administers himself. He did have an allergic reaction to one this last week so he had to change one and take a round of steroids. He has an appointment with the Infectious Diseases Doctor on Tuesday morning. Please pray for wisdom for this doctor on his continued treatment of Daniel's infection from the gunshot wound that created seepage from his intestines, causing infection.

Saturday Daniel saw his internist for the first time since he was discharged from the hospital. She was happy with his progress but stressed he needs to be entirely healed before he leaves for Seattle. His back wound has to be completely taken care of. For the first time, to stress how seriously the situation needs to be taken, she stated that some doctors weren't sure Daniel would survive when he first arrived in the US. (That caused me to sit in the corner with tears quietly coming down my cheeks. It was very sad and sobering yet made me grateful to God, too.) The wounds on his front from the gunshot, surgeries and various tubes are all healing nicely. It's the wound on his back that is open that is the concern. So even though all medical people involved are pleased with his progress, it is still a serious condition. There is no reason to assume there will be major problems but it would be foolish to be casual about it.

This weekend Daniel was especially blessed in two ways. He had 6 friends from ACU (most of them roommates of his for a year or more when he lived in a house with a bunch of guys) come to town to spend about 24 hours with him. Daniel and his "man friends" (as he calls them) did guy things like going to a guy movie, eating manly bar-b-que, and playing guy video games. Thank you Stephen, Curtis, Marcus, Mark, Phil and Bret for coming. I pray God will bless your generosity. Also, thank you wives for those of you who are married. Then also Jonathan was able to get a few days off work and arrived tonight from Lubbock and won't have to go home until Tuesday. So a mother has all three of her chicks here. Yea!

We have been very loved and encouraged by people. Daniel has received many cards and really good food. People have said many encouraging things to us. The love has been wonderful.

On the other hand, I have really prayed about sharing this next series of thoughts. Before you read the next paragraphs, know that we feel deeply loved and can't express how much we appreciate all the love and concern shown to us. Just today I had several people tell me they are still praying for Daniel and us. The prayers have been incredible. By that we are greatly encouraged and blessed. God has been gracious beyond our belief. Yet, I still want to share some thoughts that might be helpful to others and have humbled me when it comes to sharing my concerns for others in difficult situations. So here goes.

Sometimes its hard to know what to say to people. God has shown me in a small degree what people go through who deal with chronic illness. When people ask how Daniel is doing, I say he is "going the right direction". Of course with that I mean in my heart that his wound is healing, closing more all the time, he has more life in him and is seeming more himself. But I also think in my heart that my son almost died, has had three major surgeries, he has a hole in his back that is packed 3 times a week with special healing materials, and has to take antibiotics 3 times a day through a PIC line that is semi-permanently inserted in his arm where they also draw out blood regularly. One day a loving brother in Christ asked me how Daniel was doing. I barely got through saying "he's going the right direction" when the brother enthusiastically said "Great!" and abruptly walked off. Although I didn't respond outwardly, inwardly I thought, "There is nothing great about this! My son almost died!" Oh, I know God is great. And I know that is what this kind gentleman meant. But what we have been going through is not "Great!" Don't get me wrong. I did appreciate being asked about Daniel by this man. I deeply appreciate all the encouragement and love that has been shown. But relying on the Lord doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and that it is not difficult. It is emotionally a whippin' at times.

Again, don't get me wrong. I see God working every day. I have been especially aware the last few days that God orchestrated Sara Ann being home this summer after being away except for college breaks for the last 8 years. There are no accidents. We have really needed Sara Ann this summer. I don't know what we would have done without her in the hospital and since we have been home. She has been a great comfort to her brother. And she cooks great too!

In addition, I have continually prayed that we would never be the same again. I see God bringing that true in many wonderful ways. Spiritually I feel God's presence in ways that would be difficult to explain in an email. I understand more fully Paul's words in II Corinthians 4:6-9. " For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Long-term illness or chronic illness or what ever you want to call it is not for wimps! (Do I hear some loud "Amen"s in the background??) For example, just this week Daniel has had a fever two different nights. This has not happened since he left the hospital on August 1. Should we be concerned or not? The doctor says it is ok. Daniel thinks it is just because he has gotten too tired at times from being up too much. You know it is hard to keep a 24-year-old down too much!

I am reminded of the old "can't go around it, can't go over it, gotta go through it" when it comes to what is happening. I am grateful for where we are and all is going the right direction. We have our son and we know others don't. I would be very ungrateful to not be aware of that every day and count each day as precious. The prognosis is "complete recovery expected". I know many who have cancer who don't know if their loved one will be here another season, much less many more years. But when I was on the phone with my mother today and she told me that my sweet Aunt Jill had prayed "God, please don't take another one" (family members know what that means) I had to shed a few tears.

So, please keep praying. Please know that God is working mightily and we are blessed. But please also be aware that anyone who has a loved one or is themselves going through a serious illness needs your continued love and support and concern. Do ask how they are doing but realize their answer may not say even half of what they are saying in their heart. Send them cards, share a word of encouragement, in general show your love.

We are still praying in faith for God's healing by September 1 (God does still do miracles) but also accept whatever his plan is for Daniel. As said before, "the Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord." We are enjoying sweet times with each other. It would certainly be fine to have him here more but would be great if he leaves too.

Overall, things truly are "going the right direction." Again, thank you for your love and concern. Pray for the healing of Daniel's wound. Pray for the infection to be completely gone. Pray for our emotional, physical, and spiritual strength. And pray that God will be glorified.

May God bless you and your family whatever your circumstances today. May He richly bless you in the days ahead. May you feel His presence. May others comfort you and care for you in exactly the ways you need it today.

Keep the prayers going. To God be the glory.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann, and Jonathan


P.S. If you would like to see pictures of Daniel's stay in the hospital in Ecuador and here, you can look at his blog at http://toorestlessfortexas.blogspot.com/. I do warn you that the last picture is of his wound. So you may want to skip that one.

Healing Right Up

Dear All,

Daniel has been home from the hospital for over a week. Hard to believe. His health is getting better every day. We are thankful. For example, the hole in his back has shrunk. It is now 6 by 1.9 cm on the outside with a depth of 3.2 cm. Only two days before the depth had been 4.5 cm.

So what all is happening now? He has IV antibiotics 3 times a day. He still has his Wound VAC (we call it his "man purse") which he is able to plug in at night then go on battery all day. So he is mobile and has had several outings. He can't drive for 6 weeks after surgery (basically till Sept 1) so he is always chauffeured. He has 4-5 doctor/nurse appointments per week that Sara Ann and I divide up taking him to.

We have been blessed by meals (nothing nurtures like food!), phone calls, emails, cards and people contributing to his medical expenses. Daniel specifically said to tell everyone he is thankful for the prayers, cards, food and support. He said he has really been humbled by how people have come in to help him and his family. Every day he checks the mail, looking for cards. And he has certainly enjoyed eating after not being able to for weeks and weeks.

He has also had several visits by his peers. He has been greatly encouraged by that. Just today 3 young women that he went on a Spring Break Campaign with his sophomore year of college came to visit and laid hands on him and prayed over him before they left. He had not seen or talked to any of these young women in years. Praise God for servant hearts.

I have personally been amazed at how God is working in so many lives of so many we are getting to touch base with. God is working powerfully through people who are single, young married, middle aged or retired. Regardless of their walk in life, God has great plans and is using each life in His own unique way. Daniel and I have been talking about how God puts people at different places in life and then utilizes their unique abilities and circumstances in His kingdom. It is great to see the creativity of God and how He works mightily to have a relationship with His people. It reminds me of Romans 12 and I Corinthians 12 and how God has chosen each part of the body for the work He has for that person. Each may look different and have different functions, like the eye and ear, but each is designed to function as God has made them. May God work in your life mightily today whatever your station. May you feel His presence and the peace that passes understanding that comes only through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. May you be aware of being an ambassador for Jesus if you are working in an office, getting ready to go back to teach this fall, wading through lots of laundry and dirty diapers, or being limited in life by your aging body. May you remember that your generous, caring Heavenly Father loves you if you are struggling with your marriage, your health, your children, your finances, your lack of relationships or your mental or spiritual health.

What is Daniel's main prayer request? Daniel is fervently praying and ask others to pray that he will be healed by September 1st and be able to move to Seattle. What will that take? The Infectious Disease Doctor releasing him from taking the intravenous antibiotics. The wound on his back must be closed and no more need for wound care for that wound or the other various holes from surgery, gun shot, etc. And the Trauma Surgeon releasing him.

If you want to drop Daniel a card with a message, his address is 2801 S. Shady Lane, Arlington, Texas, 76001.

Again, we praise God for your interest, love and prayers. May the peace of Christ be with you.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann and Jonathan

How Do You Explain?

Fairbanks has been great. Alaska has been great. I love so many people here. Theoretically, I love so many people everywhere, but practically, this is where it's at.

Here's a rundown on what's happened with me since coming back to Alaska.

• Loved seeing my parents. They are such a strength for me. I know that no matter what is going on in my life, their love is unchanging and stronger than I can conceive of. I hope to someday love as deeply as they do.
• Loved seeing my brothers and sisters in Kenai. I especially loved some of the conversations I got to have and excitement I got to share over what God is doing in Kenai. He is moving! Again, the love my brothers and sisters in Kenai have for me is humbling. I don't understand it, but it is a source of strength for me.
• Loved seeing my friends, brothers and sisters in Girdwood... and Mandy, Darren & Ely. Coming to Girdwood feels almost like coming come for me. I really love that place! It was great to see Roberto from Ecuador and talk about my trip to his country, and see my friends from The Pond, and hear about Adam's epic spiritual adventure to Haiti and stay with my wonderful family there.
• Loved camping with my friends in Hope. A great time of relaxation, conversation and reflection. Am SO grateful to have friends who love me enough to come visit me and go camping with me in Fairbanks! I don't deserve you.
  
• Loved seeing my sister in Anchorage and getting some in-your-face kind of challenges that caused me to reconsider my view of the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. We truly are caught between the times.
  
• Loved spending time with my brothers and sisters in Anchorage. Had some great conversation and renewal. And some great pizza for that matter =).
  
• I'm realizing that more and more places are starting to feel like home and that it is more a reflection of how I have come to know God in those places than anything else.
• I'm happy to be in Fairbanks learning about primary care!
• For the first time, I saw a child be born last night... twice. Incredible.
• For the first time, I scrubbed in on an emergency surgery (a D&C for you medical folks).
• I've been to a recovery camp for substance abusers and seen the face of Christ in the very warm people there.
• I've realized my own weakness and inability to stand on my own. If I look strong to you, it's a show and I'm sorry. My only strength comes from what the Lord gives me.
• I've made plans to live with Daniel in Seattle, counting on God to heal Him because of His marvelous glory and excellence.
• I am so incredibly happy to have Abe in town with me. I need Christian brothers around me at all times or I fall apart.

So much more I could say. May God receive glory for everything I've written tonight and may He continue to become greater as I continue to become less.

Home at Last!

Dear All,

We are thrilled to report that Daniel was released from the hospital today, Wednesday, August 1, exactly one month after he was shot in the stomach in Ecuador. He goes home with a Wound V.A.C. that he must be attached to 22 or 24 hours per day, a PICC (sp?) in his arm to get IV antibiotics twice a day, many medicines and lots of "cool scars" / wounds. He also goes home weighing 30 lbs less. Yes, when we weighed him on Tuesday, he had lost 30 lbs in 30 days. WARNING: this diet is not FDA approved!

The next few months are going to be eye opening for Daniel. He has been in such a fog for so long now. Daniel knows God has much more service for him to do. He feels the calling. He wants to hear and see God's direction each and every moment of the day as well as show others Jesus. Pray that he will hear God's sweet and gentle voice. He knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that this injury is part of how God is going to use him. One time I said something about "when the accident happened". He quickly but calmly corrected me and said, "Mom, it wasn't an accident." He not only meant that from the shooter purposely shooting into his tent but also from a spiritual point of view. Romans 8:28-29 anyone?

As I was reading the Bible to Daniel a couple of days ago, he asked me where the verses are that say God will never leave us or forsake us. I turned to Hebrews 13 and we read them. He said that people's prayers can be so weak. That is why we don't see God doing powerful things in the United States. People don't boldly ask God for specifics. Why would we just ask God to be with us when He has already clearly said He will be? Ask for more! Be bold. Be brave. Let God work powerfully. Then praise Him! We are asking boldly for a complete healing and many blessings to continue.

We have learned so much. We've learned a lot about how God provides what we need just when we need it. I read Acts last week and felt close to the apostles, seeing the many ways God provided for us in Ecuador and when we got back to the US. I pray that each day, just as God provided for Paul and the apostles on Paul's oceanic cruise to prison, that you and I will see God providing for the smallest things, each and every step of the day throughout our lives. And not only in the crisis times! But in the daily humdrum, too. He is there. Count on it. Watch for it. Believe it. Share it with others.

We are beginning to know a little bit about the weariness that can settle in when you have a loved one with a long term illness. (Forgive us if we have not loved you enough when you needed someone to continue to care about you during your time of ordeal.) But getting Daniel home today will help greatly with that. He has a long way to go with lots of recovery and doctors appointments and medicines, etc. Thankfully, Sara Ann is still around to help as are other loved ones.

Where do we go from here as a family? All 3 of our children want others to know the love Jesus has for them. Sara Ann was a vocational missionary in China for 2 years and feels led to move to LA in about a year for more vocational ministry (any one interested in forming a team?). Jonathan graduated from Harding in the Spring and is on a church planting team headed for Chicago in about a year. Eddie and I are amazed at the faith of this younger generation -- not just our children. God is on the verge of doing incredible things with so many of them. So where do we go? We look for God's blessings to be new every morning and seeing how we can join Him in His work. We will let you know about that every once in a while as Daniel continues his recovery.

Please don't forget us in prayer. If you would like to send Daniel a card now and over the coming weeks, I know that would be a great encouragement to him (Daniel Stinson, 2801 S. Shady Lane, Arlington, TX 76001). In some ways he should heal fast since he is 24 years old but also it will be months so that will seem slow in ways. But we do believe he will heal.

Thank you again for your love and prayers. Thank God for the wonderful doctors and staff who He has used thus far and will continue to use. May God bless you richly today. His blessings ARE new every morning.

Love,

Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann and Jonathan

I'm still here

I'm in Fairbanks. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep blogging, but have had limited Internet access until now and have been under the gun to get lots of things done.

I had an awesome time with my family, friends and brothers & sisters in Christ in Kenai, Girdwood and Anchorage. I love all of you guys. You have touched my life in the last week.

I am incredibly blessed to have such amazing people in my life.

Boredom is a Good Thing

Dear All,

Well, we are very excited to say we are nearing the end of Daniel's hospital stay. It may be a few days but we are getting signs that he will get to go home soon. He had 3 solid meals today. Paraphrasing, he said he knew it was cafeteria food so wasn't great but tasted really good to him. He had small portions of eggs and bacon for breakfast, chicken and mashed potatoes for lunch and chicken and rice and apple pie for dinner. Can you imagine eating solid food after basically living off of IVs since July 2nd?

Yesterday he asked us to bring his guitar to the hospital. He's played a little each day. Today, before Jonathan headed out of town, he stopped by and played a quick board game with Daniel and me. Daniel's attention span gets better each day. In fact, today he seemed a little bored. He has been too sick to be bored before today. We praise the Lord for simplicities of life. So taken for granted normally but not today.

So, we praise the Lord for continued recovery of our precious son, Daniel. He still has a drainage tube that will have to be removed, he's connected to wound care and IVs and his pneumonia is still being worked on. But, the doctors have said he should be fully functioning in all ways after some time of recovery. What more could we ask? Thank you Lord.

We pray that none of us will ever be the same again. Forgive us Lord when we forget your many blessings and continued care that is always there regardless of our circumstances. You have provided so many blessings. Simply amazing.

Thank you for caring. We can not thank you enough for all your love and prayers. We have learned so much from you.

To God be all the glory. May He increase your faith and richly bless you.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann, and Jonathan (and Aunt Sara)

...And We're Back

Dear All,

Daniel had a much better day Friday. He showed some energy that hasn't been there since he was shot in the stomach in Ecuador. It warmed our hearts to see him respond to his friends who called him from Alaska in the afternoon. He smiled as he listened. He chuckled some. It was very encouraging. Still tired and with pneumonia but going the right direction. Thank you Lord.

Other good notes. Daniel is on full liquids today instead of clear liquids. He only took a few spoonfuls of the soup and about two bites of pudding at lunch and dinner but that is a start to getting his system working. Something that is necessary for him to be released from the hospital. And he kept it all down -- which didn't happen yesterday with clear liquids. Only two IVs now. Got 20 staples out of incision from his surgery so now he has steri strips. Etc. Etc. So good signs.

Aunt Sara made it through the night with Daniel just fine -- especially considering she is my older sister! Sara Ann is on tonight. So the young blood is back. Jonathan is in a wedding this weekend and then has to return to Lubbock. But Aunt Sara is a school teacher so she has nothing to do with her life in the summer time (just kidding -- it is a labor of love!) Daniel said she did "great" so she is in the rotation. But hopefully Daniel won't be in the hospital too much longer. God's timing is perfect since Aunt Sara couldn't get here till now and Jonathan has to leave now.

We are thinking Daniel will be released this week sometime. But we patiently wait upon the Lord and know He has a plan. Do we patiently wait every minute? Oh course not. We each live in this earthly tent. But overall we do. And are very grateful just to have our son alive. And to see him walk. And to see a smile. This is his 14th day in the hospital -- in the US. The month of July 2007 is a blur (he was wounded about 2am July 2). But we are grateful there is a July 2007 to have him with us.

Daniel says visitors are fine now. He even says it with a little energy (that warms a parent's heart). Of course we know many of you are visiting us in your hearts and with your prayers. And with cards. And with your love and concern in general. Through that the Lord sustains us and we are very grateful to each of you. The Lord has certainly blessed us with the love of many. So keep those prayers going. That is obviously the thing we need the most.

Thank you for loving us -- even if you barely know us. May God richly bless you today. May He hold you close in His heart and may YOU feel it. We pray for each of you and the difficulties you are going through --- at this very moment. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Love,

Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann, Jonathan - and Aunt Sara

Continued Progress

Dear All,

Today was a better day for Daniel! Daniel's treatment for anemia seems to be helping - IVs of iron. His pneumonia is being worked on - breathing treatments, new antibiotics, etc. He walked several more laps today than yesterday when he was so tired and drowsy. He was able to interact with my sister, Aunt Sara, when she got to the hospital (yea for reinforcements!). He sat in the chair for awhile. Several little things. Little things mean a lot.

Also exciting, Ross Baldwin called today when he was on a layover in Houston headed home to Alaska from Ecuador. It was so good to hear his voice. God has really sustained him. We pray rich blessings on him as he does an internship in Fairbanks for a month then on to Seattle to continue with Med School. The verse I read a couple of days ago that reminds me of Ross is: John 15:13

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

So needless to say, Eddie and I are doing better. We felt your prayers throughout the day. The sweet words of encouragement we have received help us so much. We, like everyone else, need the love of our brothers and sisters. So thank you for lifting us up in so many ways. God is sending blessings from different directions. He wants us to not forget how creative He is. Or how much He has the bases covered. Incredible. We don't walk this walk alone -- but with you and God with us.

As I mentioned, Aunt Sara is here. In some ways we are different as sisters and in some ways very much alike. She is very tender-hearted. So when given the option of looking at the wound care specialist change the sponge/ wound care stuff on Daniel's back, she opted to stay on the other side of the bed and shed some tears as she saw his physical pain. (Been there, done that.) She is going to take duty tomorrow night. She will fit right in with the other attending night monitors (Sara Ann and Jonathan) who can also read big honker books (that means 700-1000 page books) like A History of the American People, Harry Potter and Einstein. Eddie and I can only read little wimpy 200-300 page books like A New Kind of Christian, Irresistible Revolution, and a.k.a. Lost: Discovering Ways to Connect with he People Jesus Misses Most . Its not fair they can read them all.

So tonight its a little easier to focus on God's plan and his glory. After a long couple of days. Have you ever noticed how some days are just longer than others? Especially those days you don't want to repeat!

We love you and appreciate you. All praise to God. The creator of all.

Sweet dreams.

Love,

Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann, and Jonathan

El Ultimo

My final foreign entry... ¡Que triste!

As if to affirm me as His child walking in His will, I got a sweet little going away present. Walking away from the airport in Guayaquil after confirming my flight time, I walked up next to a guy with a Bible in his hand walking along the sidewalk. Here's a translation of our conversation:

Me: "Good evening"
Him: "Good evening, you are a Christian?"
Me (a little surprised): "Yes..."
Him: "Mormon?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Evangelical?"
Me: "More or less."
Him: (goes off into this story about how he had just arrived and needed to go somewhere and didn't have money for a taxi for some reason I didn't understand.)
Me: *hands him cab fare* "Were you praying about this just now?"
Him: (affirmative, excited Spanish noises accompanied by many thank you's and praise God's)
Me: all smiles

Just to catch you up, I left the Hacienda de Esperanza after a 7:30 breakfast. A bunch of the kids, Becki, some random guy and I piled into the Hacienda's van and headed down to the main road, otherwise a 15 minute walk. After some quick hugs and Ecuadorian-style fake kisses, I jumped on the bus that pulled up JUST in time. Except for a couple quick food breaks, and a bus switch in Quito, I traveled all day and am now waiting for my flight in Guayaquil.

It leaves at 1am, I have 6 hours in Houston and then a direct flight home to Anchorage getting in at 4:30pm. I have an ERA reservation for 7:30 to come back to Kenai!

I think my last post had some pretty good end-of-trip reflections in it, and I'm pretty tired right now. I might have to keep writing about the rest of my summer just so I don't end on a lame note.

Oh yeah, just thought of another cool thing. I sat next to a Christian lady on the bus too. This place is swarming with them. She had a really cute little girl that was a fireball the whole trip, but not in an annoying way. It was really cool because I had no clue what the other girl I was sitting next to was saying, but could understand the Christian lady really well. It made me wonder if there was something more going on there.

And another thing, I put Justin (the administrator at the Hacienda) in touch with Eduardo. The Hacienda is looking for house parents and Eduardo is looking for work... I figured, what the heck. I hope it works out, he would be an AWESOME dad for a bunch of little kids, and his wife would be great with them too.

Okay, that's feeling a little less lame. I just had my last meal of chicken, rice and lentils, my staple here and am going to head back to the airport to stir up some more trouble. Thanks for being readers, faithful or spontaneous! And thanks to God for giving me fingers with good endurance... actually, we can go ahead and thank Him for everything.

Leave Daniel Alone... please

Dear All,

Daniel has had a couple of tough days. He is anemic now. So he doesn't feel like much. Plus the pneumonia. Plus the fever continues to be pesky and they are trying to narrow that down some more. So another CT scan tonight. More breathing treatments. Etc. Etc. So at this time, Daniel prefers to have no visitors for a couple of days. He just needs to be allowed to rest and let the doctors and nurses do their thing. He didn't even take a phone call from a very loved close friend tonight. So you know the body is weary.

Is this disheartening. Of course it is. He's our baby. Are we distraught? No. Our Savior lives and our God has a plan. Do we covet your prayers? Without question. So on your knees, standing looking up to heaven or sitting quietly with your head bowed. How ever you connect with the Father. Let it rip. But be sure and thank Him for His bountiful blessings and His continued care. Be sure to praise Him for the glorious loving Father He is.

A few days after Daniel was shot, the song that God placed on my heart is based on the book of Job. It says "Blessed be the name of the Lord . . . He gives and takes away . . . Blessed be the name of the Lord". That is a very comforting truth. I also think of Hebrews at this time. God says never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. Thank you Lord for that truth. With that, we are comforted. Dr. Hendrickson continues to indicate these are medical things Daniel just has to go through. So we continue to trust in her and the other doctors God has put in Daniel's life. This is just a phase that has to be gone through.

On a lighter note, Daniel is not a tv watcher. I mean none at all. So we are all getting a lot of reading done. Besides the Bible I think we have each read about 3 books. I don't know why this is taking the time it is (possibly another week or so in the hospital - maybe more then a long recovery at home) but I do believe God has a plan and part of it if for each of the 4 of us to be still at times.

Have a fantastic evening and a wonderful tomorrow. May God be praised and glorified in your life.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann and Daniel

Pneumonia, but Happy

Latest word from the Stinsons:

Dear All,

Overall there is much to be thankful for with Daniel. For example, he walked bunches on Sunday, so much so that the doctor was going to order therapy and changed her mind. Of course he has had to have his entourage to walk since he needs the support of Eddie or Jonathan to walk as well as Sara Ann or me to push his IV pole along. When nurse Bud (that's his real name) saw him walking, he said, "Daniel, you look taller when you're out of bed". (Daniel is 6'3'.) "Good one, Bud!"

Daniel's color is better and his responses to things are more alert. But he has continued to have that pesky fever, especially at night. So today they ordered a chest x-ray and sure enough, as they suspected, he has pneumonia. Dr. Hendrickson says that is not unusual with someone who has had 3 surgeries. The fact that he traveled from a foreign country as he did could have led to pneumonia all by itself. The good news is she consulted with the other doctors and they continue to be pleased with things (thank you Lord) and say that his belly is fine and the antibiotics he is on are doing what they should be doing. So there you go. More good news. No, that is really great news. More surgeries are unlikely.

He got a Wound V.A.C. today. The wound care nurse said that this machine, which he will basically be attached to 24/7 for 2-4 weeks, could make the open wound on his back heal twice as fast. You haven't lived until you have seen an open 3" by 1" wound on your son's back. But it is pink, good skin and the doctors are much encouraged. Why not just sew it up? Due to the infection. So we are thankful for wise doctors and special care products and people.

So please continue to praise the Lord for good progress. Even finding out he has pneumonia is good news since it gives direction --and rules out big problems! Please pray for Daniel's comfort as it is hard for him to breath and be restful. Please pray his lungs will clear and he'll continue to be motivated to walk and he will heal. Please continue to pray God's blessing on the rest of our family as this is a long haul. God told us there would be marathons, didn't he? But to just continue to run the race. So we run.

My sweet sister, Sara, (we call her Aunt Sara so all are not confused) will be here tomorrow. We are overjoyed by that. For as she says, when she gets here, she will be Aunt Sara (the family knows how glorious that is!!!).

Thank you for the cards, emails, and visits. By all this we are much encouraged. And thank you so much for all the prayers. We are so blessed to be lifted up. God has a call on Daniel's life, and you are part of it. Thank you!

To God be the power and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Love,

Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann, and Jonathan

Hacienda de Esperanza and Otovalo

The kids are darling. I don't know what it is about orphans, but it seems like they just soak up love and attention. Diana, Maria, Katy, Gladys, Jorge and John are absolutely adorable and range from 5 to 10 years old. There are two older kids that have been at a local Christian camp this week, Christian and Leoli. The little girls run up to you for hugs and crawl in your lap when you have a lap available. They are all smiles and their words to God before meals have been very humbling and inspiring.

(Hacienda de Esperanza is translated as ¨home of hope¨ roughly)

It was hard to leave this morning, but I wanted to make it up to Otavalo (where I am sitting right now) so that I could leave a significant amount of money behind me when I go back home. I was successful. Otavalo is known for its handmade crafts sold by the local indigios (natives). And if you're wondering, no, I didn't get you anything. =)

Lately, people have been asking me what I learned in Ecuador, or why I think God sent me here. Oh boy, here it comes!

I have absolutely no idea.

And I'm okay with that.

I honestly don't care too much about the why's. I'm not too concerned with putting things in nice tidy boxes so I can pull one out labeled ¨Ecuador¨ and display it to the curious passerby. The mystery of God is beckoning me to realize that I am changed deeply by encountering Him, in ways that words only serve to cheapen. I follow Him regardless of whether I am blessed or beaten down, whether he opens up the floodlights to the path ahead, or whether I stumble in the dark with only His hand to guide me.

My righteousness is looking less like me being a good person and more like me realizing my depravity and need for constant reconciliation with God. And yet, at the same time, my flesh is dying to the joys of this world and desiring more permanent satisfaction. And I don't mean to sound ascetic because I clearly love good food and hurling my body up and down various courses, but I'm realizing that those things are merely shadows of something much greater.

The fruits of this trip to Ecuador and both tangible and intangible. I've talked mostly about the intangible because it's a lot more mysterious and intriguing, but let me just conclude for now by praising God for the countless impacts He has had on lives because of the experiences of a couple clueless guys stumbling around a foreign country or two. I am humbled by the fact that you have taken the time to follow our stories and shown such incredibly love and faithfulness, both in your words and prayers.

I'm feeling a little nostalgic because I'm leaving tomorrow, so if that sounded like a farewell address, it's just me warming up to leave. Peace!

Beauty

I had a good night in Tena, visiting with expats, eating good food and all that. I met some girls from California that I talked to for a while and had a great time with. Michelle gave me some ad hoc salsa lessons and said I was catching on! I got to share a little of Christ with them, but wasn't quite as resolute as I could have been. Next time. There's always next time to be more like Christ.

I read II Peter today and realized that the promises he is talking about are things like Jesus said about repenting from your sins and receiving forgiveness. It's putting our faith in those promises that motivates us to grow through moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, patient endurance and all that. After all, when we realize that it is Christ alone and the forgiveness of God that purifies us, we are motivated out of thanks to respond by honoring God.

That said, yesterday was incredibly purifying. I rafted in Tena with an Irish guide who has lived in Tena since he was 14. His family runs the Riverpeople rafting company and rafting with them, in Tena, is the absolute best rafting in the country. Go with the Riverpeople! We went cliff jumping and waterfall sliding before hitting the river for the day. There was a diverse group with 4-5 in two rafts. Mostly British girls and a couple from Canada. I teamed up with the Canadiens and the guide Tim for an amazing day of all kinds of terrain from thick jungle to grassly lowlands surrounded by green mountains shimmering beneath the intense Ecuadorian sun.

Lunch was along the river with the local village kids coming up to stare, play and get our leftovers. The rapids were exhilerating, but managable (nothing too life-threatening, Mom) and there were several places to jump out of the raft and swim. The most memorable event on the trip was the raft ahead of us hitting a wave, going straight up, and then curling over to fully inverted, like a back flip, and seeing everyone in the boat falling out. And then realizing that we were intentionally heading for the same spot =). Good times. Our raft did more of a tornado, backwards surfing type thing there.

I could write a lot more about the rafting trip, but I digress. After returning to Tena, I met up with Becki again to head toward Quito. We took a taxi north to a place called Paraiso de Orchida, which is an animal refuge. I made friends with a monkey named Lucho and did some walking through the actual jungle there. I needed a machete.

We ended up waiting by the side of the road for a bus to Quito with some of the local town people. They were really nice and helped us figure out which bus to take. So we ended up outside of Baeza at a highway junction trying to pick up the next bus, and decided not to keep traveling because Quito at night is dangerous, so we found a cheap hotel where we could each get our own room and crashed (after eating across the highway of course).

I'll write more about the Hacienda de Esperanza later, but today we basically took the bus to Quito, met up with Cecilia (Jon's wife) and drove north to the Hacienda. It's a home for several orphans and is a part of a larger missionary effort called Operation Ecuador. Lots of cool connections all over the place up here... staff from Seattle, Washington and Pensacola, Florida (where my preacher at home is from!) Time to stop typing though. Night!

No Pain, No Gain, but Pray Anyway

We are thankful for a good day for Daniel. Yesterday was good in that he had the surgery the day before so God gave him the start of healing and the doctors said the surgery was successful. But, he had a lot of pain. I mean a lot. Thank you for your prayers for his pain. Today, it was much better.

Today, Daniel was able to sit up for 4 hours. He also got the catheter out. The tube came out of his nose yesterday. He is still tethered by several tubes of various kinds but going the right direction. The wound care for his back is painful (there's a hole in his back that is about 3 inches long) but Dr. Hendrickson says there is healthy tissue and that is good. When the wound care nurse showed him the picture she took to show the doctors (aren't we in the modern age to just whip out our little camera and take a quick digital?!), Daniel said it looked like "lips". The wound is about that shape. I just keep thinking when things come up about all his wounds (the gun shot, the stitches down the middle in the front, the hole in his back, etc) that saying -- "Chicks dig guys with cool scars!" Well, there should be a lot of "diggin'" going on with Daniel.

Daniel was asking about visits from friends today. Tomorrow and in the days ahead, he should be very ready for visits. I hope his peers especially can visit him in the hospital or even when he gets home. This would be a great encouragement to him. But I can't promise you'll get to see the cool scars!

So, all of our spirits are good. I was especially blessed today when I got to spend several hours with him alone in the afternoon and he felt well enough to talk and for me to read the Word to him. I, II, and III John have an awful lot to say about loving others. And that is something that Daniel relates to -- and lives I might add. He and I agreed as we read that one of our favorite verses is "perfect love cast out fear". I pray each of you have the freedom to love and not fear. Even if God sends you to Ecuador.

All praise to the Father above. Glory to His Holy name. May all that is done in the days ahead to heal Daniel be a blessing to us and an honor to God. Pray for his healing. But also pray for his witness and blessing to others today and in the days ahead.

Thank each of you for your concern and love and prayers. We feel them. We are truly blessed.

Love,
Eddie, Marilyn, Daniel, Sara Ann and Jonathan

Welcome to the Jungle

Lots of terrain covered today. I started out in the midst of a verdant, green valley with mountainsides covered with the markings of agriculture: green houses growing tomatoes, fields staged to produce all kinds of things from bananas to melons to weird fruits and vegetables that don´t have English names. My drive today from Baños to Tena took me through winding mountains roads sprinkled with cascading waterfalls. At times the road came precariously close to the edge that separated the bus from hundreds of feet ending in a meandering river. We drove through a rainstorm that threatened to change my plans only to arrive in Tena to a beautiful sunny afternoon.

All that to say, yep, my camera got stolen/lost (either is likely), so I'm resorting to the ¨thousand words¨ approach. Oh, and by ¨my camera¨ I mean my dad's. Sorry Pop. (stack that one on with the rest of the below confessions!)

Tena really is beautiful though. It's in the jungle with a couple rivers flowing through it. There's an island with a zoo of sorts on it that I visited after arriving. The squirrel monkeys ruthlessly pursue any type of fruit you may offer them. I felt like a pirate walking around with a squirrel monkey perched on my shoulder. YAARRR!!

[FYI: at this point I lost my blog due to crappy internet. Pity me.]

Post-zoo I spent some sweet time in the Word on the banks of the Tena River. A comment I received today on here suggested that I spend some purifying time by running water. Sound advice!! There's nothing quite like experiencing God in the midst of His Creation.

A cool randomness (look for this phrase in a blog title coming soon): I sat down by a kid with a runny nose on the bus and gave him some Kleenex. He looked like he was in pain or something, but insisted he wasn't sick. We ended up talking a bit and it turns out that he wants to be a doctor when he grows up! He has a sister in med school in Ambato and furthermore, his family follows Christ and attends an evangelical church! He was so darn cute I had to buy him an ice cream. I love the body of Christ (oh yeah, the other internet café I went to in Baños was Christian-run... I think it's a conspiracy).

Wow I had a great meal tonight... steak and fries for $1.50. Do I really have to come home??

I thought about a lot of cool stuff today too, but it was in the lost blog, so I'll just leave you with this, which is quite timely considering the recent events:

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow!! For when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Now imagine that on a sunny rock with a rippling river emerging from the jungle greenery upsteam and calmly flowing by, drowning out the noise of the surrounding city, and you might feel the confident hope that I caught a glimpse of today.