Me llamo Carlos

Internet is scarce over here. My apologies.

I spent the last few days in the town of San Pablo. It´s a small fishing village close to Salinas, Ecuador. Daniel and I called up Leonardo (one of Roberto´s friends) and he took us to the bus station and put us on a bus to San Pablo. When we arrived, we started asking around for any medical people and heard a couple rumors about where they were, but nothing solid. As we were wondering around the beach area looking for a place to camp, we happened by an evening church service.

Like flies on... flypaper, we stuck to the church service and had a good time hanging out with other followers after it was over. They invited us into their homes for sweet coffee and biscuits and promised they would find out where the clinic would be the next day and let us know if we met them at the church.

We camped out on the beach our second night in Ecuador and loved it. We had a relaxing morning and then ambled into town where we were met by Moses, a brother, who directed us where to find the doctors. As we were walking to the clinic, some white people pulled up and offered us a ride... it was the Rotary group that had come to offer the clinic and do some work on their project village.

We plugged into the group and met some great people. Gonzala (Rotary president in Guayaquil) and his wife allowed us to sleep at the patio of their beach house. They fed us 3 *excellent* meals a day in exchange for our work. I did a little manual labor then went to work at the clinic with Dr. Glen and Barbara. Great folks. Dr. Glen is really laid-back and funny but a good doctor with a great rapport with patients. I had a blast working with them. The highlight of my time in San Pablo was a lady with chest pain that I figured out was actually a displaced rib. After hurting her a couple times, I wanted to give up, but was persuaded to try to adjust her rib once more. I got it on the third try and she immediately started crying and thanking me because the pain was gone. She´d lived with it for two years. I was humbled and incredibly thankful for the instruction of Dr. Perkins.

We got to be in a parade in San Pablo because we were there for a holiday and had all kinds of great interactions with people that I can´t possibly cram in here. We left this morning after breakfast and good-byes and headed north. We´re now in Montañita and I just finished surfing for the first time. This is a total tourist trap and Daniel and I will probably not stay long. Good waves though. Your prayers are much appreciated as we seek out direction from God in everything we do here. We are sowing seeds of the Truth wherever we go and trusting in God to prosper our meager efforts. Blessings!

Vienvenidos a Ecuador

I´m in Roberto´s house. In case you didn´t hear, Roberto is on his way to work at Alyeska Resort in Girdwood, Alaska while Daniel and I are staying at his house in Ecuador. So if you´re in the Girdwood/Anchorage area, please give a warm welcome to Roberto!! He was yet another sign that we´re supposed to be here. He & his friends & Daniel picked me up from the airport last night, a seemless transition.

My plane trip out of Houston was great too. I was jabbering with some guys while in the jetway and mentioned my love for the church and they promptly said they would be avoiding me on the plane and asked my seat number. I was right next to them, which kind of freaked them out =). Then we all got moved to the exit row and I told them they were lucky to have a holy man in their row. They laughed. The next fun discovery was that everyone in that row was going to Ecuador for medically-related reasons. They were on a medical trip with Rotary, there was a premed student going to volunteer and the last lady in the row was an Ecuadorian doctor. Beautiful. So I may be heading out to San Pablo to join their medical team for a few days. We´ll see what happens. God is so cool.

Yesterday I got to have lunch with a friend from undergrad who just finished his first year of medicine in Houston. It was AWESOME to see him. We both majored in Physics and thus had many of the same classes all through college. He is an exceptional guy and I´ve missed seeing him around, so it was wonderful to reconnect and hear about his experiences. He´s currently doing cancer research on the type of cancer that the little boy had in Cambodia (I think) and if his research pans out, alternative treatment will be available that possibly could have saved his life. Another weird ¨coincidence.¨

While in Texas I accomplished my major goals which included:

1. not being sick anymore (I got checked out by a doctor from church for free and he cleared me - THANK YOU DR. SANDERS!!)
2. eating Bluebell ice cream, Mexican food, barbeque and Shipley´s donuts
3. getting charged up for Ecuador

So now I´m here ready for the next move. Pray that I have eyes to see and ears to hear.

Airborne

Taking off for Ecuador. Yeah baby.

A Much-Needed Relaxation

Today was my Sabbath. I hung out with Christians all day and watched movies and ate good food. My fever is basically gone I think. Tomorrow I'm going to see a doctor for free that I met at church today. I've been very happy to see the generosity and openness of the body of Christ played out in many ways down here. I'm just about charged-up for hitting South America tomorrow. Give me one more night in a real bed, and I'm there.

I woke up thinking about next year in Seattle. I want to have a barbeque for my neighborhood. I didn't get to know my neighbors in Anchorage last year and I'm disappointed in myself about that. But it's time to repent and change things next year. Our house did really good about inviting friends over to do things, but Jesus told us to invite the people who cannot pay us back. It would be good to haul a grill into the middle of a poor area and start cookin' burgers. So I'm resolving not to wuss out on that again. May it be so through the strength of God.

A Brief Stint in the States

I'm in Houston, Texas for the next couple days. I'm staying at my cousin Erin's house where she lives with her husband, baby and their friend. Except that her family is on their way to Alaska right now, so I'm just crashing at their place. Their friend, Brie, picked me up at the airport, stopped by Taco Cabana for me, and showed me the essentials: where I'm sleeping and where their computer is. It's pretty nice having all the comforts of Western civilization again, and I don't even feel guilty. Maybe I'll get to work on that tomorrow.

The flight went fine, just a lot of time sitting. I finally finished the book about the girl growing up under the Khmer Rouge... I have some thoughts, but am not so coherent right now. Good night!

...and I'm out

Sitting in the Pochentang airport waiting for my plane to board... I should probably be introspective right now, but I'm slipping into the traveling mindset in which I merely pass time until my next destination. Last night was interesting.

I finally got a fever yesterday after being tired all week. It was not exactly a pleasant last day. However, a bunch of people from CSC went to lunch at Friends cafe where I went all out and spent almost 9 bucks on lunch. Really good pasta. Afterwards I went to get a massage (finally) at Seeing Hands, a massage parlor staffed by the blind. It was a pretty good massage. Really good for 5 bucks.

I really just wanted to sleep at about 5 yesterday, but Samnang had made arrangements for a going-away party outside the city at his friend's house. I told him I wasn't going, because that's what the sensible thing would be. Then I started thinking about how I frequently disappoint people by doing the sensible thing. Then I thought about Christ saying that a man with great love lays down his life for his friend. I was pretty sure I wouldn't die, and that I'm actually trying to live by the principles of Christ, so I went. Samnang was really happy.

My fever got bad on the way out and I bought some ibuprofen that didn't seem to be working. So when we arrived after riding in a minibus for 45 minutes, I asked for blankets and cuddled up. Eventually the ibuprofen kicked in and I had dinner at a typical Cambodian house. We slept on the floor with no fan on mattress really in a wood house on stilts. What a way to end my trip.

I'm actually feeling better today, so maybe there's something to this living by the teachings of Christ. I guess it was worth a shot. My plane is boarding soon, next stop: Houston (by way of Taipei and L.A.).

Twilight of a Trip

Usually I get tense and uncomfortable when I'm done in one place and ready to move to the next. However I'm finding myself relaxing and enjoying my last few moments in Cambodia. Yesterday I learned a ton about putting in IV's and breathing tubes and got to do a couple IVs and scrubbed in to a pretty brutal hip surgery. AND I got to do some mean work with the electric cautery... cutting out extra tissue and blocking bloodflow left and right. Good stuff. The students took off after lunch and got some great Thai food, then went to the Royal Palace and the Silver Pagoda. It wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

I took a nap afterwards (I've been really tired lately) at the apartment of the Canadian students and then went to teach English with Samnang. We picked up some VCDs for the karaoke party that we're going to tonight out in the country. Their idea of fun can be really strange over here.

Teaching went well, I showed pictures of my home and described different things about Alaska, then quizzed the kids about what I was talking about. Basically practicing comprehension. After teaching Samnang and I went to hang out at his uncle's food stand, and then we met the French Canadian girls at for dinner at Amok. It's a really cool restaurant where you sit on mats and cushions at a low table and the food is really good.

I really love hanging out with those girls and wish that I could have spent more time with them. They're really easy to be around and fun and nice and all those good things. Conversation was great and I got to share the Good News about life in Christ, which always makes me happy. I was sad to go, but was really ready for bed.

Driving at night after the rain here is a beautiful thing. (I've been borrowing Samnang's moto and I'm getting to be a decent Cambodian-style driver). I had a really awesome talk with God last night... both intimate and friendly and feel like my purpose in Cambodia has been accomplished. Despite my physical condition, I feel refreshed and ready for the next season.

This is Me with a Bad Attitude

I’ve been really challenged by the teachings of Christ lately. I’m now in Luke in my Bible read-through and realizing that He spent a lot of time telling us to be nice to each other. Really nice to each other. Like, so nice that if you don’t have a coat and I have an extra one, I’m supposed to give mine to you. Seriously… who does that? Sure, you can BORROW my coat, but it’s MY coat. I bought it with my own money! And besides, it wouldn’t make sense for me to give it to you because you’d probably just get it dirty.

And this from the guy I say I base my lifestyle on. So who is out there doing this? Where are the Christians?? This may be a familiar sounding question (like maybe I said the same thing yesterday), but today is different, I think I found one.

Buntha Ly is the young guy living out in a Muslim village teaching English and sharing the Gospel. That’s what he lives for! He struggles as many people do, but he also shares Christ with the perishing. He lives on very little and is more than content with life. Oh, just FYI, he got 50 bucks from the Changepoint money. The teacher at the Bible study said he couldn’t think of a better place to give money. Buntha is a really cheerful guy, although a bit shy. I am honored to know him.

Then I realized I probably know a lot of Christians, but I am never satisfied to settle for the status quo. I just can't seem to circumvent the truth that it's about obedience, not rules. That God really does know best, we just need to LISTEN to Him. I'll work on that.

The little boy with the bulging eyes update: the word is back from the eye docs, he is now too weak for surgery and it would likely kill him to go under anesthesia. So we sent him to another hospital. No one seems to know why we did that, perhaps in the hopes that he'll improve, but the most likely theory is that he will not live much longer. At least I got reimbursed from CSC for the 90 dollars I paid for his CT. Now I can spend it on something worth while, like some climbing gear. Am I sounding bitter and sarcastic? Maybe I'm just pissed that the health care system over here is crap and I get to play all next winter while little kids die over here.

Despite the angst virtually dripping off the page, I'm feeling pretty good about life. God has been teaching me a lot and Ecuador is looming on the horizon. Just 2 more days in Cambodia and SO many things to do. Right now, number one on that list is sleep.

Oh yeah, reminds me, I slept on my inflattable ground pad last night instead of my bed because my bed was infested with bed bugs. I got them to wash everything, so hopefully I'll be back in the comfort of a semi-real bed again.

P.S. I have a sore throat and I'm tired, just for the record, not to complain or anything.

P.P.S Sarcasm is fun and liberating, but it's poison, anything more than a small dose will kill you.

P.P.S. Love you guys!

Not Exactly Surgery

After looking forward to being back in the OR after a weekend of touristy stuff, I didn't actually make it to the OR today. Now you MAY be thinking, "Oh Ross said he wasn't feeling well, so maybe he slept in and stayed home for the day." Nothing could be further from the truth. Actually, there are a few things, but we won't go there.

Flash back to the little boy with the bulging eyes. He's been waiting around hospitals for about a month now, so the CT we finally got last week was too old to base any treatment upon. So back to another hospital he went today for a current CT. Now, ideally, the first hospital he went to would have referred him to CSC back in May when he came in, but his parents only recently heard about it by word-of-mouth (as I understand it) and brought him in last week. We waited for his records for roughly 3 days, and are finally processing them about a week after he showed up at CSC. Meanwhile, he has lost what little vision he had when he showed up at CSC, so even if we cure him, he will be blind for life. A harsh reality over here.

Beauracracy forced my hand today. I'm not patient when I can do something other than wait. So I shelled out 90 bucks today for another CT and may or may not get paid back. It's alright. I pay for other people when we eat out with no intention of getting anything back. This situation is just a little more emotionally charged. My tone here should not be read as sarcastic or bitter, but truly joyful at the opportunities I have to bless others. Just thought I'd clarify.

The CT brought good news, no brain or bone invasion, so after we get blood tests back, we can remove his right eye and the associated tumor. That will probably happen tomorrow. Needless to say, it was a busy morning despite not going into surgery. And his full name is [removed for patient confidentiality, sheesh]. I had it right the first time.

I spent a lot of the afternoon praying and reading the Bible. Not by choice, I intended to watch "House," a medical show, on DVD but the power was out all afternoon, as happens frequently here. So instead, my soul was fed and I got to come to a deeper understanding of the Word. I got to put that faith into practice by praying for the power to come back on after reading the bit about "keep asking like you're an annoying neighbor." It did. Praise God that He leads us as he does. The control we have over our lives is such a joke.

I'm also understanding that Jesus really didn't spend a lot of time talking about how we should all enjoy our lives and the rich blessings God has given us. He spends a lot of time talking about giving to the poor though. Is there anyone out there actually doing this?? Why not???

The power came back on and I watched my TV shows and ate dinner at a street stand. I'm feeling better today, I just needed to sleep for about 12 hours. Cures everything =).

This needed a title of some kind

Back in Phnom Penh and gladly so.

I don't know what it is about this whole tourism bit, but I just can't seem to get into it. I don't understand how people (and I've met a lot like this here) can just take off for months at a time and do nothing but indulge themselves. I realized this weekend that the time I spent touring, eating and drinking felt pretty empty to me. Sure, it was fun, but if I didn't have surgery and such to come back to this week, I think it would have been pretty miserable.

I just can't seem to disengage myself from the sense of being incredibly blessed and the obligation to share that blessing. Some would call that a character flaw, that I "take life too seriously." And to some extent, that's true, I just don't see how other people do it. I suppose I'll just accept how God created me and find enjoyment where I find enjoyment... for example, in surgery tomorrow =).

I finally had to admit that I'm not invincible. Last night at about 2am I woke up to realize that yes, I too can be overcome by the wide variety of toxins in the foods over here. Sad day. Some one needs to invent ice cream that tastes good both ways. =)

The importance of confession continues to impact my thoughts. I realized that I don't have anyone in close proximity that I can share my struggles with while I'm over here. It's a good thing I struggle with anything anymore (and we're joking...). But that made me think that a lot of people don't really have anyone they can share their struggles with, or simply choose not to, so if you're out there and I've bared my soul to you, thank you. I love you and miss you and have probably taken you for granted.

My thoughts are a bit disjointed right now, so I'm going to close for tonight. One more week in Cambo.

I'll be in Houston, TX for 2 days, from 9pm on the 23rd to 4pm on the 25th. I have no plans or anywhere to stay. Any suggestions??

Angkor Wat & other Buddhist/Hindu things

I'm a little frustrated right now because I was trying to upload pictures and it's not working too well. But the last two days have been very full and interesting. I'm still in Siem Reap and have about 10 different temples under my belt now. These range from massively huge Angkor Wat to small and overgrown Ta Prohm. I've braved heat, humidity, treacherous stairs and worst of all: street vendors. They seem harmless enough at first, but after the 5 billionth child accosting you to buy "Sir, 4 for 1 dollah! 4 for 1 dollah!!" you come to understand their true intent: to ward off tourists so they can reclaim their country. But I didn't give in, and I was actually relatively nice to most of them. That should foil their plans.

It's hard to really describe what it's like wondering around the ruins of civilizations long past. We hired a couple of really nice tuk-tuk drivers, Pieb and Lida, who were our chauffeurs for the day. We also hired a guide the first day who told us about the different characters in Buddhist and Hindu mythology and when and why all the various structures were built. It was interesting stuff, but hard to pay attention to after a while because a lot of it started running together.

(I think the pictures are uploading now, yay!)

I learned a lot about Buddhism and Hinduism and am thoroughly convinced that they are both retarded. Oops. That wasn't sensitive, but it's true. Of the two, Buddhism actually has some pretty decent principles to live by that are strangely similar to the teachings of Christ. Unfortunately, it was pretty hard to separate the abuse of religious power by a political figure from the religion in its pure form. Kinda reminded me of Catholicism actually.

I did get to talk with a Buddhist monk in the top of Angkor Wat and had a really great conversation. He became a monk because he loves learning and is supported by his family because it is honorable to have a monk in the family. I got to share the Gospel with him, which was pretty cool, and he told me about learning how to be a good person Buddha-style.

We've eaten lunch at stands in the Angkor Wat area and dinner in the tourist area of Siem Riep. Last night Sebastian and I met the Christian girls from California for desert and I had the best ice cream of my life. A bigger group then went dancing before we all headed back to our respective guest houses for the night.

One thing I was thinking about today was manna and how God provided for the Israelites. He gave them just enough for the day, but they also had to get up off their butts and pick the stuff up off the ground. And when they got to the Promised Land, the manna cut off. God doesn't forcefeed us, He provides the means to get what we need, but sometimes we just need to get up off our butts and pick the darn stuff up.

One more thing. Today a bunch of Buddhist monks came to the area we were in to pray for rain. I think they believe in a rain god or something like that, I'm a little unclear there, but the people fed them and they prayed to whoever. I really want there to be rain for these people, but I don't want Buddha or the rain god to get credit for it, so I asked God to withhold the rain for a few more days. He deserves the glory, not some false god. Today really reminded of why God is closer to the poor than the rich though. I hope He gets credit when He decides to send the rains.

A Street Cafe in Siem Reap

I'm sitting along a street in Siem Reap having finished an excellent meal of Khmer curry vegetables and of course, white rice. Music from the clubs is pervading the atmosphere with sounds from synthesizers to kettle drums to Indian tambourines. It's a relatively cool night and there is a nice breeze to make the constant sweating somewhat productive. Tonight I'm staying in a room with air con, we decided to splurge and pay $10 for our room with 3 beds.

So many experiences since my last posting. Here's a run down:

• Sampled some obscure local food including dog curry and pig intestine. I know. I'm a terrible person.
• Taught an English class for a group of teens and preteens on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. One kid was really good at English, so I gave him an English study book I'd bought earlier that day while I was out trying to get the patient records for the kid with possible leukemia. (I waited over an hour, and finally asked God in faith to help me. The guy I needed to talk to walked up as I was lifting my head from prayer... cool.)
• Met some British girls for drinks who remotely knew Sebastian.
• Jetted out of there to meet the eye surgeons and staff for a big meal/party at a local restaurant. What a great group of guys. Several of us went to karaoke afterwards, where yes, I sang "Desperado" and "Vincent" (aka Starry, Starry Night). Whew, those Khmers know how to have fun.
• Got up to go with the eye docs to an eye screening clinic at a public school. Played with the kids and stuff.
• Left for Siem Reap, a 5.5 hour bus ride. Good chance to catch up on my Bible reading (I'm in Matthew) and meet some Christian girls from California who happened to be sitting behind me on the bus. It is so great to be around people who love the Lord, especially after last night when I constantly had to resist attempts to get me drunk or hooked up with a Khmer girl. Funny, but neither of those things really had any appeal to me. Anyway, don't take for granted being surrounded by people who really want what's best for you. I thought peer pressure was supposed to end in high school =).

No real deep thoughts lately that are surfacing. I did get to pray over the little boy with the eye tumors today after talking to his parents. They told me that we doctors know what is wrong with him and we just need to help him. They were begging me to help him. I told them all that I could do was pray and was that alright. I think they appreciated it, but the prayer I prayed was not one of power. Some times I know when my prayer will be answered and I wished I could have prayed that kind of prayer for him, but I will just keep praying for God's favor over them and for miraculous healing.

Tonight was a really good night. As a connoisseur of perfect moments, I was very pleased to have experience two, one while riding in the tuk-tuk leaving the bus station, the other after eating the aforementioned curry, which is the best I've ever had. Tomorrow, the temples.

Acute proptosis in myeloid leukaemia

Lots of big words right? To me, they mean a little boy, maybe 10 years old with his left eye blinded and bulging out of its socket, maybe 4 times larger than a normal eye. His right eye is now being affected too and will be blinded as well if he doesn't get treatment. So what's the hold-up? Why not just give this kid radiation, a bone marrow transplant and send him on his way? Well, first off, we can't actually diagnose him here. He needs a CT and some other tests to make sure it's actually leukemia. Am I sounding like one of those infomericials yet?

The problem is money.

A CT scan costs a whopping $80 over here, which most people cannot afford. By comparison, a CT in the U.S. costs about $500. Unfortunately even with a diagnosis the kid still can't afford radiation therapy or a bone marrow transplant, so he will die. Ever wanted to know what feeling powerless feels like? Come to Cambodia and hang out with the sick. It's too bad... he is a sweet kid. His name is [not allowed to be revealed cause he's a patient].

Bible Study - 2 for 1, oh the irony

I went to a Bible study that is going through the entire book. I happened to catch them studying David, my personal favorite (right behind Jesus of course). It was really refreshing just to be around the Word, but the best part was talking to the other attendees afterwards.

Renee - the aunt of one of Scott, one of the premed guys I work with, was conveniently there, and although she had to jet to take care of some kids, I was really encouraged to see her again. She had us over to her house for dinner a couple weeks ago and it's always awesome to reconnect and realize you both worship the same God.

Random Khmer Christian - guy runs some hostels for poor children who cannot afford anywhere to live while they are in school. He makes it possible for them to get an education and stay off the streets. He also owns a garment factory (eww, you're wearing garments) and I sincerely believe that God will make that guy rich some day so that he can share his wealth with his country.

Buntha Ly - this kid rocks. He is living in Kampong Ch'nang provence working as an English teacher AND preaching the Gospel to all the Muslims that live there. Major score. He's 24 and told me he needs more courage. Ha. He lives in risk of being killed every day, but he goes back. He was kicked out of his house for believing in Christ, "If you say Jesus will provide for you, then you don't need me" said his grandfather. I guess Jesus did because that was 5 years ago.

He works with a pastor out there and approaches Muslims by asking them to study Jesus, who they claim to believe in, but most ignore. He then shows them how they can pray to the LIVING prophet and the LIVING God and pretty much just ignores the whole Muhammed thing. Genius. I too many times feel the need to defeat non-truth before introducing Christ, but it's the TRUTH that sets us free, not the negation of the non-truth.

About that 50 bucks from the other night... I couldn't give it away because I was doing it out of self-righteousness. I gave it to Buntha tonight instead so he can share the GOOD NEWS with more people living in oppression. Boo-ya Buntha. And God.

I just had to post again tonight. I didn't want to forget this stuff. Maybe I'll skip a day or something.

Pulling Off the Blinders

WARNING: Harsh reality below. Reading this may make you cry (it made me cry seeing it), it may steal your innocence or it might just offend you. Regardless, this is my experience.

Let me begin this by saying I went to a brothel last night. It wasn't really what I expected. First of all, I wasn't going there for sex, which I imagine gives me a skewed perspective. Secondly, I was praying for the people there, both the customers and the... merchandise. That's a crude way to refer to a human, but that's what it seemed like to me.

I expected to see scantily-clad, rough-looking, apathetic and beaten-down women, most of whom had seen better days. Instead, I saw a group of friends in their mid to late teens watching Tom & Jerry and laughing at the antics of the cartoon mouse outwitting the cartoon cat. Their attire was more akin to that of a middle school party than a dirty movie. I tried to make eye contact to convey a sense that I saw them as people, but was almost universally ignored. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I think I would have preferred to live in the ignorance of my stereotypical ideal rather than the unassuming acceptance of reality.

The customers sat across the room from the girls and watched. They didn't smile or flirt or anything, they just spoke to the pimp when they were ready to choose a girl and left the room with her in tow. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't emotional. The girls never seemed afraid or reluctant, more like day laborers watching the clock, waiting for 5 to hit.

At first I wasn't really shocked or anything. The sheer normality of the situation was sadly unnerving. I almost wished that it had been more dramatic. It would have been easier to respond to emotionally. What finally made things sink in for me was when I started praying for each girl individually. When you look someone in the face and recognize that they are a child of God, you cannot help but have compassion on them, no matter if they are a prostitute or the wealthy executive of a Fortune 500 company. Each of us bears His image. Each of us tarnishes it in various ways. It tore me up to realize that each girl in that room had a father and a mother and a God who loved her and because of the unequal distribution of wealth, she sells her body every night.

Sure there are girls who choose prostitution because it's an easy buck. But when a hooker costs less than a number 3 on the McDonald's Value Menu, something tells me most of them aren't there by choice, but by desparation. Desparation because they can't feed themselves or their families any other way. This society takes away access to education and job training for many women forcing them to either marry or seek out their own fortunes. Oh wait, most women can't really be entrepreneurs over here. It's getting better, but it is still oppressive.

It's hard to get excited about the massive tibial fracture that we repaired this morning, or the several IV's I got to place with the above as the background noise. But I did. I'm not sure how the resolution of me loving and enjoying my life while maintaining a genuine compassion and outreach for the broken will come about. Maybe it won't. I know I can't live my life the same way I have been, but I do not know what that will mean.

I know that next year, I will go skiing and I will go climbing and I will eat expensive food and drink expensive drinks. Can I justify that as a Christian? Sure. Should I?

A Day in the Making

Another slow day at CSC. but another viciously intense day in the Kingdom. I didn't scrub in today, but did watch some miraculous things. I would be remiss to discount the awesome things that happen at CSC every day. An infant with a bilateral (a.k.a. really messed up) cleft lip and maxilla was given a new face today. A child whose fingers were fused together on both hands was given digital liberation (couldn't resist). And it was amazing walking through the lines of patients just saying hi and seeing the brilliance and gratitude radiate from their faces. People here, indeed everywhere, take so much pleasure in simply being acknowledged.

On a quick side note, Samnang took me to a local restaurant tonight. Trash all over the floor, open air dining, Cambodians sitting at tables, vendors selling fried grasshoppers and dirty postcards, all these graced our dining experience tonight. We grilled beef, shrimp, squid and veggies on a propane grill placed on our table and it was excellent!! I love dining local.

The vicisous intensity of the day mostly stems from my reflections on The Irresistable Revolution. I don't find anything this guy says incredibly new or different. It's just that he's taken so many theoretical things about Christ and His teachings and lived them out. Holy crap. I really want to do that. As I've been tossing around what that looks like for me, it definitely involves some life changes.

I need to get rid of more stuff. I'm realizing that stuff is a real hindrance to the Kingdom. So Mom, when I come home and start giving away childhood toys and stuff, be prepared, or hide them before I get there. I want to know poor people. I want to hang out with them. Going to Seattle will offer me a real opportunity to run into that community, and I'm pretty stoked about it.

However, I realized today that my trip to Ecuador isn't just about surfing, salsa and Spanish, but that I may actually be serving the Kingdom down there as my primary mission. I think I will have the chance to live with other Christians, and actually need what they have to offer me. I will meet the poor and the rich and the destitute and offer life to all of them. Not life that I have myself, but life that is flowing through me as the river of the Holy Spirit. I'm done trying to talk people into faith in Christ. It's time for me to walk out my faith and invite people to TASTE AND SEE THAT THE LORD IS GOOD.

When the Rubber Meets the Road

I did something tonight I don't usually do. I walked. Not just a quick jaunt to a nearby restaurant, but nearly an hour's worth of Chaco's and pavement. I was driven to solitude by the immensity of Jesus Christ in this world.

It's been a whirlwind of a day. I assisted on some cool orthopedic surgery this morning and got to turn wrenches on this crazy device for compressing bones in a leg fracture, it felt kind of like being an auto mechanic. This afternoon I literally sliced open a guy's face to drain an infection, and while you're in the throes of being grossed out, let me say it was SWEET.

But all that aside. This will feel totally artificial if I don't just bare everything, so here goes.

I stayed at Dr. Gollogly's house last night because I didn't feel like coming back to where I'm staying late. I woke up at 8 with a vivid recollection of the dream I'd just had about a girl I really miss (it was an innocent dream, give me a break =). It was a rough thing to wake up to and it took me a while to get my head focused to start the day. After surgery I decided to walk back to my place; it just seemed like the right thing to do. [When I got there, one of the little kids that lives there came running up to me so I'd pick him up, that's a great feeling.]

I started reading a book she recommended to me, which was a stretch for me considering how the day started. Again, it seemd like the right thing to do. I was rocked and absorbed. I don't even know how to express this in coherent thought, so I'm resorting to bullet points.

• My vision has been skewed and I had forgotten that God really is doing new things in the world with this generation. I remember knowing that last summer, but I haven't *known* that in a while... until today.
• I don't want to be a surgeon. I want to be a doctor that is a direct part of the community and talks with people and gets to know them, and cares for them when they are sick. [warning: impulsive] Let me expand on this: The way to transformation is through love. I want to become a part of a community, show them what love looks like and allow that love to permeate that community. This means giving wildly of myself until it becomes contagious. Is this a pipe dream? I don't think so, but who knows where God will lead.
• I hope normal people don't think/obsess like I do, because I think this world would be crazy. I think about things I am passionate about, including food, God, girls, sweet motorcycles that I will never own and crazy ideas for how I will live my life as a sold-out follower of Christ.
• I would be satisfied in this life if God was my only refuge.
• After I finish writing this, I'm going to go find someone poor and hand them 50 bucks from the Changepoint money. I want to know what it feels like to give someone money for no other reason than they don't have any. Maybe I'll work up to giving away my own money. Heck, I'm happy to do that for people I know and love... why not people I don't know and love anyway?
• It had been resolved in my head that rich Christians should try to appeal to rich non-believers in their circle of influence by remaining in a rich community. What if the rich Christians joined the poor and invited non-believers into THAT community?
• Bad news: I think about things much more seriously than I do them. Good news: I am growing into the image of God.
• Yikes, I'm all stirred up again.

I appologize for the sporadic nature of this post. I'm feeling very impulsive and charged up right now and wanted to get some of these thoughts written down. There was a lot more going through my head that just didn't survive the hour-long walk to the internet cafe. But this I am confident of: God is preparing me for great adventures in this life and the next. His way will be the best.

A Night and a Day

Sebastian and I stayed out late last night on the beach, mingling with the other tourists and stuff. As is prone to happen, I got into a conversation about Christ with one of the girls there. She had a really strong personality, so I felt pretty free to speak boldly.

She believed in things like "fate" and "harmony" but not in an actual personal God. All of the miraculous stories in my life, she attributed to either coincidence or explained them away. I challenged her logical irresponsibility at believing in a relativistic worldview and she responded pretty emotionally without actually contending the points I was making. She finally got offended when I started insisting that she knew the Truth, but was doing everything in her power to put herself in the driver's seat. I guess it's scary to think that some one else knows more about you than you do. She had also been turned off by religion because of her childhood... a circumstance I seem to run into a lot over here. This does not help my love of organized religion.

So after reflecting on our conversation, I appologized for my aggressive tone. It's not a way I usually talk to people now, but it's definitely how I used to. It was interesting to analyze myself and realize that I hadn't really been acting out of love, but out of a sense of competition. Bummer. So I repented and learned something, and suffered the consequence of a limited group of other people to dance with for the rest of the night. I think she told her friends I was a jerk or something. She was probably right.

Today I finished reading the Old Testament! That's been a work in progress since August I think, but the 4.5 hour bus ride from Sihanoukville to Phnom Penh provided the perfect occaision to get through the last stretch... I need to write more about that some time too.

This morning was nice... the beach was cool and breezy and it was a good day to leave. It had just started to rain when we were packing up. So we said goodbye to the throng of beach vendors, mostly cute little kids who'd just as soon play with you as sell you something... although they always come back to the "Mista, buy one?" It's nice being back in Phnom Penh tonight though.

God is doing His healing work on me and I'm feeling the effects of it. My mind is being renewed and it will not be long before God is at the center of my life once again. Consequently, I'm smiling a lot more lately.

Eating the Fruit

While eating fresh pineapple on the beach, I was mulling over the problem of sin and grace. It seems that the people who have embraced sin the most are the most grateful for God's love and understand it at a level that others cannot. Jesus says those who are forgiven much have much gratitude. This seems backwards to me, but the Spirit was in a teaching mood today.

The fruit, what does this have to do with pineapple? I thought of Adam and Eve, and their first experience with sin. They ate the fruit with the promise of becoming "like God" knowing good and evil. So indeed, they came to understand more of life and both extremes of good and evil. Would they have been better off not understanding. Hmm... yes. Was their anything magical about the fruit? Probably not, but our temptation is the same every day. We can indulge in evil and gain more knowledge... become more like God, or we can choose life.

I've seen parallels like that in my own life, times when I have chosen the knowledge of good and evil over living with God. And I find that He responds to me much how He did to Adam and Eve. He covers me and mourns the broken relationship, but allows me another chance at relationship with Him, albeit with redefined interactions. I could go off on this for a lot longer; it's definitely worth thinking about.

Covertly I've just described most of my day to you. I lay around thinking, reading, praying and basking in the sunshine. The above is the coherent consolidation of all that. The excitement of my day came after a walk down the beach to chill with my French Canadian friends (the cutest one has a boyfriend... dang). I'm surrounded by wonderful people here.

On the way back, I saw a little kid with a soccer ball, so I stopped and motioned for him to kick it to me. When he finally got up the nerve, he rallied it over my head and into the beach chairs behind me. I couldn't stand for that. So I gave him the ball back and he started shooting on me (I played a little goalie in high school). Soon there were 8 or so kids taking turns shooting on the American. Eventually, a full-fledged soccer game erupted on the beach. My team won.

After a quick, awkoon, ree ree-ay nah diahl banh chobe neh (thank you, very nice to meet you) and a dip in the ocean, I returned to my friends on the beach. Tonight will probably involve some really cheap food and drinks, and maybe some dancing!!

I had some sweet conversation about Jesus today too, both with my med friends and the French Canadians. Love talkin' about that guy.

A Day at the Beach

I realized today that I could live many places. Growing up I thought Alaska was the only place for me, but it is not Alaska that draws me, but the beauty of Creation. That beauty is exceptionally apparent in my home state, but it is seen worldwide. Watching the Cambodian sunset behind a foreground of the beach, ocean and palm trees was quite spectacular this evening, and I know now that it is not necessarily Alaska that I am enamored with, but the creative beauty of our Lord.

Today was a great day of healing. I've been reading through the Bible since last fall and made some good progress today, but more importantly, I got into the Sermon on the Mount. Talk about the core truth of life. It's all right there. I think I could probably read that every day and be changed. Each little paragraph has so much depth and wisdom to it that I just stand in amazement. It was great reading that while on the beach and having the time to reflect on different statement individually. So much truth in such a small space!

I guess the main point that stuck out to me was desiring God's righteousness and not being swayed by anything. I don't really know what that looks like, and I know we can't get it by trying harder, but that it comes through eagerly awaiting (Galatians 5). Still, it's a great thing to desire.

I had a great day of laying on the beach, chasing off little kids trying to sell my necklaces, skillfully avoiding massage vendors (except once) and breaking away from as many other people trying to dip into my wallet as possible. I wonder how much I would spend if I just gave every person what they asked for. It's hard to say no to guys dragging their legs around while I'm sipping on a coconut shake. I end up not saying no a lot I think. I got some good pictures of several of the vendors I think.

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow... more of the same laying around, reading the Word, going swimming in bath-temperature ocean water and getting sunburned. Good stuff. I've met some great people here and have really enjoyed the company of some kids from Quebec. We all went to dinner at a teppanyaki style restaurant tonight and are now on our way out to enjoy the night life of Sihanoukville... enjoy your weekend! I got to tell a girl that God is crazy about loving her today. It made me smile. Mostly because she asked the question, "If I don't love myself, who will?" I love knowing the God who has answers to questions like that.

Scalpel!

It's Thursday night, 11:36 p.m. in Cambodia. I've just returned from an evening of excellent food and conversation on the starlit beach of Sihanoukville. Ditching my responsibilites in Phnom Penh, I brazenly boarded a minibus with 4 of my cohorts this afternoon and spent a good 4 hours in transit, all with the sole purpose of irradiating ourselves on the beautiful beaches of Cambodia's southern coast.

But no, that's no all! This morning was a hit too! I held the scalpel in an operation for the first time! After Dr. Leng had completed a plastic surgery on one side of our patient, he said, "Now you do the other side." So I got to remove a deformity from a 14-year-old girl today, from the scalpel to the sutures. It was quite exhilerating. In less radical news, I also intubated one patient today and did an IV line in another... nothing major, but still stuff I get excited about.

This may be along the same theme as the mercy that I was talking about earlier, but I've really felt challenged to respond to everyone I meet in a loving way. I've been thinking a lot about the people who care about me, and how I feel loved because of their attention and concern for my well-being and all that. It's great! Chances are good that you're one of those people if you're reading this. The bad news is, I probably find too much security in you, and not enough in God, one thing I'd really like Him to remedy. Then again, maybe we are ALL created for community and SHOULD be that dependent on each other.

If that's the case, the question becomes am I offering the kind of love to the people I meet that God generously offers me, both directly and through others. And in fact, my standard should be higher, because God has given us infinite love to disperse if we are able to receive it.

Basically, today I was trying to respond to every single person I contacted in a way consistent with the love of God that lives in me. Focusing on that made me realize how far I have to go, but also made me realize that Christ wasn't all about hugs and grins... some people need a good stern "no" while others require a bit of pushing to get moving in the right direction.

We're staying at a guest house here in Sihanoukville and I think I'll head there now. Your comments are always incredibly welcome... I've really gotten a boost from them. It's almost like being around family, except not. Hmm. Anyway. Love you all!

Chilling out

Is not easy to do in Cambodia, but sometimes it's a really good idea. Both physically and metaphorically. Drinking lots of water helps with the first one, just stopping and being thankful for a while really helps with the second.

Last night was pretty intense. I worked at the ER with Dr. Leng who works crazy amounts of hours... he got up and did surgery the next day on little sleep. I slept at the hospital (a different one), but got to see quite a bit of how emergency care works in Cambodia. I use the term works very loosely. There are some excellent physicians here, but the system they work definitely could use improvements.

CSC was slow today, but afterwards I got a chance at a leisurely afternoon on my patio with a good book about a girl growing up in the Khmer Rouge. More on that later.

About 20 loosely connected expatriates went out with us tonight on a dinner boat and it was excellent! The food was really good and it was beautiful seeing the sun set from the river. I love being on the water and it really reminded me of my days working on the Kasilof River... good times.... The stars also came out and it was beautiful just being thankful in God's presense.

I went over to the house of an expatriate tonight and hung out for a little while. I met some Jews and had some interesting conversation. It's like their descended from celebrities. I was sitting there with some one who had the blood of Abraham in them!! But this brings me around the my initial point. I didn't witness to anyone all day. And I was beginning to feel a bit frustrated by that, in addition to the fact that I could have gone to a Bible study tonight.

Then I thought... hey, chill out, God doesn't need you, and He might actually prefer that you ENJOY this evening rather than trying to force a spiritual conversation. So I did. I chilled right out and had a good time meeting new people. I think Jesus would have been downright proud of me. =)

How to Start a Tuesday

87 cents is a cheap price to pay for contentment, but if you put it in the right place, it works. Street food here can be SSOOOOO good and incredibly cheap. And did I mention I got a cold beer with that too? I feel like one of those old guys talking about how they could take a girl out to dinner and a movie for 10 cents (sorry Pop). Anyway.


Today rocked. Flat out. I slept in because yesterday was my birthday, so I didn't get up til like 8am. I started to hustle through my morning routine, then just decided to take it slow and enjoy the morning. So I prayed on my patio a little bit. I leisurely read my Bible until I was satisfied. I even did a few push-ups and pull-ups! As you're sitting there admiring my morning, just think: "this could be me really enjoying my morning." Next step: do it. Leisure in the mornings is why my dad likes getting up early and why I like going to work/school late =).

On a serious note, I don't think anyone who hangs out with God every morning ever has a bad day.


I did some cool stuff today technically, but I'm starting to realize it's the human aspect I'm really in this for. Sitting in an OR all day and occaisionally doing some sutures or an intubation is great and all that, but leaves something out. We lengthened a girl's leg today so she can walk normally again (and I got to close... I'm getting better), but I felt much more satisfaction walking through the recovery room, smiling at old ladies who all smile back and bow respectfully, stopping to put a hand on a patient or to see how a wound is healing up... Dang, it just downright fills your heart. So I think I'll have to do that in my career... not sure how, but I like people. I like the simple interaction of doctor-patient. I like having something to give and some one to receive it, even if it's just a smile. (sorry for the cheese... sometimes melodrama works best)

I also hammered a rod out of some guy's leg today. It was sweet. (there. simplistic redemption.)

Tonight I'm going to be on call with Dr. Leng... he's super nice and very willing to explain things to students. Not sure how late I'll stay, but I'm excited to see a bunch of cases.

Unrelated: yesterday I met a Christian Cambodian kid in dental school while I was picking up Samnang's moto and we had a sweet conversation. I freaking love that kind of stuff.


And now, let me thank ALL of you who are reading this, for caring enough to see what's going on with me. Extra thank you's to all who have taken a few extra minutes to write something back. Your words are incredibly encouraging! It's really hard to feel alone with God on your side, and it's even harder to feel alone when you have people showing you they love you. Heck, I could go to Southeast Asia and still feel loved!

Birthday in Cambodia

This will be short because I'm about to go round out the day by watching a movie here at Dr. Gollogly's house with the other students.

We have a new crew in at CSC including:

Anna, Erin & Scott (yes another one): 3 med students from Toronto
Sebastian: premed from Connecticut

We did a SWEET surgery today involving a bone graft on a guy's femur. Cool cool cool. I got to do quite a few sutures to close, so I was stoked.

I also did my first successful intubation. I was more stoked.

Samnang and I went to an English-teaching school and I taught a bunch of 11-23 year olds some simple English stuff. I think they were way farther than the level I was teaching to. Oh well. I made them sing me Happy Birthday. =)

Then we met the other students for dinner at a place called the FCC... stands for French somethin something... I had STEAK for my birthday and it was great! Although I probably shouldn't have spent the money... how many times do you turn 25?? Now we're watching a movie... Not much excitement today, but God really did show me that serving provides so much more fulfillment than self-indulgence. mmmmmm...

Sabbath

Yesterday was spent mostly recovering from the lack of sleep from Friday night. I slept until about 4pm and spent most of the day watching episodes of "House" (a medical show) with Rory and Carlyle (I stayed at Dr. Gollogly's place) with the rain POURING outside. As I was watching the DVDs, I started wondering about when the last time was that I just wasted an entire day. It had been a while, but I found the process to be very satisfying. I really didn't do anything else but eat and get on the Internet on Saturday. Wow I needed that. God certainly did create the Sabbath for man.

My one regret is that I didn't spend much time with the Lord or in the Word. I think the process would have been complete if I had. It felt like something was missing at the end of the day. Oh well. Live and learn and put it into practice next time.

Today was another day of refreshment and God's guidance. I stayed at Jim's (Dr. Gollogly's) place another night because it never stopped raining and I kind of like sleeping with air con as they call it here. So when I got up, I headed for church only to find it had been canceled for the morning. Fortunately, I'd heard about another church called New Life that started an hour later, so I headed there.

After the usual misdirection and aimless wondering, I arrived at New Life and found exactly what the Lord had been pushing me toward. PASSIONATE Christians, mostly Cambodian with a few white folks mixed in. These people were jumping, shouting, praying, holding hands and just generally having a good time with their Lord.

The pastor was a white guy who had been there since age 17, a good twelve years. The services were conducted in Khmer with an English translator broadcasting to handheld radios with earphones. A live band led worship, with lyrics on projector in both English and Khmer. I sang "How Great is Our God" with 300 Cambodians today. I was prayed over, I comforted a hurting brother and I made several new friends, one of which was an eye doctor from Eastern Washington. The guest speaker was another man from Washington state teaching on us being like Christ and sharing the living water with the world. Absolutely wonderful.

A Cambodian guy came up to me in the middle of the service and shared a verse about God showing compassion for us and us needing to wait on God for His will to be accomplished in our lives. Okay okay okay... I get the point. Things aren't always rosy, we just need to actually trust that God will work things out for the Best. (it sure doesn't hurt to keep hearing that though)

So the rest of the day left me with a full stomach and one moral dilemma which I'd be happy to get some input on. I went to a market and then to Wat Phnom, a Buddhist temple in the middle of town. I went up to the shrine part and everyone was taking off their shoes to go inside. The whole time I was there I was a bit angry that so much work had been dedicated to a false idol. So I didn't take my shoes off, but I also didn't go inside. What is the proper response there??? I did not want to show respect for a religion that lies to people, but I also didn't feel that desecrating their shrine would prove anything good about God. Honestly though, part of me wanted to tear down their false shrines with their little blinking lights and crappy painted faces. But I restrained myself. Any thoughts?? (FYI a Buddhist monk just walked by me in this internet cafe... some of them have cell phones)

Moral dilemma explained, here's how I got the fully belly. Church potluck. Oh yeah, they work over here too. I went to the afternoon service at the International Christian Fellowship and they had a potluck afterwards. I met some cool kids and a woman with a family who is preaching the Gospel with her husband in the outer parts of Phnom Penh where it hasn't reached yet. Nothing else major to report there. Goin' home, got 4 newbies coming into the hospital tomorrow that I'll have to show the ropes and gotta figure out if I'm doing anything for my birthday. Maybe I'll buy myself a moto.

WWJD

Okay, so the most overused acronym in the Christian world is now the headline of my blog. Why? Cause it is worth asking. Here's the scoop.

DISCLAIMER: The contents are for mature audiences only. I thought about not posting this one, but want to have a record of it. Read at your discretion.

So after my last entry, several of us went to Tamarind, a really nice restaurant that served couscous, tangine, shish kebabs and all kinds of good stuff. It was kind of the going-away dinner for Aoife, Viv and Richard (and I counted it as my birthday party too). In addition to that crew, Viv's friend Emma from home was there, Carlyle and Rory (Dr. Gollogly's neice & nephew), Scott and his girlfriend Laura and Hugo (aka "Mr. Hottie") were in attendance. Afterwards, we adjourned to the first Friday of the month Elsewhere party.

The details of the rest of the night aren't quite as important to me as what was going on spiritually. I met a lot of expats at Elsewhere and heard a lot of really great stories about the good things that people are doing in Cambodia to try to help the local population... journalists exposing corruption, economists working to develop a stronger economy, health care workers treating HIV orphans and people in the legal system bringing justice in a corrupt system. But as the evening progressed, and my friends started leaving, I didn't feel the freedom to leave. By about 1:30, I had danced as much as I wanted to and talked to about as many people as I wanted to, but still did not feel like I had accomplished what God had set before me that night. I was frustrated, but thought I'd stay a bit longer and try to seek out what He wanted.

It didn't come. I wandered around looking for people who looked like they needed something, but didn't find anything overt. I talked with my friends, I talked with strangers, but nothing seemed to be clicking. Rory and I had been hanging out some that night, so I thought I'd stick with him and Carlyle when everyone else took off. After another hour or so, they were wanting to change venues and I had a strong sense from the Lord that I should go along.

3a.m. found me at Heart of Darkness, and the name is as descriptive as it sounds. You could feel the corruption of the place dripping from the walls. Apparently it's a legendary Cambodian night club that Rory & Carlyle said I had to experience at least once. We were there with two black guys named Roy and Sib. Sib works for the UN Khmer Rouge tribunal and has some sweet dreadlocks... he looked Jamaican to me, but he's English.

I found that I could dance worshipfully for the Lord in the middle of the Heart of Darkness. I was celebrating after all. I had just found out about passing Microbiology and was still incredibly thankful for His goodness and willingness to listen to my requests. So I danced for him. Rory warned me to avoid the Khmer girls on the dance floor, because the chances are good that they are either prostitutes or the girlfriend of a rich kid with a body guard, so I danced alone =).

I found myself praying over that place and could almost feel the opposition. One of the most powerful scenes I witnessed that pushed me to prayer was two lesbians kissing on the dance floor. They looked so lost and literally like they were trying to suck the life out of each other. I felt compassion for them because their whole countenance when apart was rife with obvious unhappiness and an attempt to cling to something, anything in this life. How would Jesus have shown them His love? I'm not sure, and hope to receive the wisdom from the Lord in the future to reach out in situations like that. Throughout the night though, I felt the presense of the Lord with me, protecting me in the midst of darkness.

4:30am found the Heart of Darkness closing and my friends ready to move again. Our next venue was a house party at the penthouse of a girl I'd met that night who was a journalist. When I walked in the door, people were doing lines of cocaine, something I'd never actually seen before. Strangely enough, I still felt that I was walking in God's will. It was a pretty laid-back scene and I soon drifted into conversation.

And discovered the purpose for my late night/early morning outing. One of the guys there found that I was a Christian and started asking me why I was at the party. What followed was an hour-long conversation about the true teachings of Christ, His lifestyle and the things that He valued. He had challenging questions for me, but the Lord gave me the wisdom to answer them all with clarity and insight. I could tell that he was touched and he began to share some of the dark secrets of his life and how he was really seeking life at the moment. Despite being filled with alcohol and cocaine, he received all the truth that I could share with him and assured me later that he would retain what I'd shared despite the drugs.

I have confidence that the Lord protected me in the midst of darkness throughout last night so that I could share His truth with a soul He is pursuing. I'm not even sure if I should be sharing this for fear that it could cause some one to stumble because going into the midst of darkness is a dangerous undertaking for anyone, myself included.

I do not know what the fruit of last night/this morning will be, but I'm beginning to understand that Christ came to seek and save what was lost... and that oftentimes, it is those people who are most receptive to Him.

A Reckoning

So much to write about. So little time.

I just took my first hot shower in Cambodia and it was fantastic. I'm sitting in Dr. Gollogly's house (he started the hospital here) praising God for his goodness and faithfulness. I can't really put this into words, but I'll try. The feeling of a hot shower pales in comparison to experiencing the blessing of God!

So most of you probably don't know that I failed Microbiology in this year, my first year of medical school. The last final I took. Most people would explain it as burn-out or poor academic performance. Rebellion is what it was. I decided the last week of school that God was not a necessary part of daily life for the moment and I would do just fine running things how I wanted them. Big mistake.

He gave me several chances at repentance and sustained me through them, but I didn't seem to listen. So on Friday, I failed a common final, and a course in medical school. Later that day, I got sick. And our house ran out of toilet paper (you can imagine what kind of sickness it may have been - and yes, it was of microbiological origin, probably one of the bugs I should have learned about). So late that night, I went into Eric's room and confessed my sinfulness to a brother. He listened and prayed over me and there was healing that took place (confess your sins to one another and you will be healed).

But I'd still failed a test. Skip forward to Cambodia. From the time I got here, I knew I would have a retake exam looming over the rest of my summer. It was scheduled for the day after I get back from Ecuador. So I started praying that the Lord would lift the burden from me. I kept getting threatening emails about my need to perform well, but I kept praying.

This evening, I checked my mail and saw an email from my professor. As I went to open it, an incredible feeling of elation came over me with absolutely no doubt as to what the news would be. I passed. They struck 3 questions, bringing my score up to a 70.2. This is not a story of luck, or my ineptitude at microbiology, but of my absolute, 100% dependence on God for every good thing, whether in life or in school. PRAISE HIM!!!!!! I PASSED AND DON'T HAVE TO STUDY ALL SUMMER!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!! (so I'm a bit excited)

I WAS planning on writing about how I've been using some of the money the 18-30 group sent me with (they took up a collection for me at Changepoint before I left). They gave me about $140 just on a whim and I'm doing my best to spend it wisely.

So my moto driver last night couldn't use his legs. He has a special bike with two wheels in the back. On our long night ride, he told me his story. He'd had polio and is in a program for disabled Cambodians studying Instrument Technology. He drives his moto when he's not studying to help support his pregnant wife and child who live in the provences. He doesn't have much, but he recognizes Jesus as Lord and asks Him for help. Usually a moto ride home would cost me about $1.25. Everything in me wanted to help this guy, so I dropped a 20 from the Changepoint money. That will pay for prenatal care for his wife & new baby and possibly allow him to go visit them more often. In a world where so many people are trying to scam you, it's really nice to run into some one who deserves your charity.

Another five was spent today on a boy named Dah who sells books from a shopping basket in the Russian Market. I saw him a few days ago and we hit it off. I ran into him again today and decided to give in to his request to buy him a soccer ball so he could play soccer at school with his friends (none of them have a ball). He thanked me quite profusely, and then his older brother thanked me and asked Dah if he could borrow the ball sometimes. They seemed like a great family.

$25 and such a great impact. I won't get to watch my moto driver and his wife go to the hospital together. I won't see the Cambodian kids playing with Dah's ball. But just knowing their joy at receiving is pretty darn satisfying.

We cut surgery short this morning and took a trip to a facility where they are educating and training poor children for the workforce. The food at the restaurant there was absolutely wonderful (some are training to cook). Our meal price went to support the work there. Afterwords we toured the Phnom Penh dump. That's right, where all the garbage is. It's just around the corner from the facility because most of the poor children they traing would end up scrounging at the dump otherwise. I've put up some new photos.

Cambodia pictures, round 2 - click to see them

Aoife, Viv and Richard leave tomorrow, so tonight we'll be out on the town at a place called "Elsewhere." Apparently lots of expats go there on the first Friday of every month to do stupid things. Perfect place for a farewell and a happy birthday to me! I'll miss them, but there are 4 new students coming in on Sunday. Oops. I should have been praying for them. Oh well. Here goes another night!