WWJD
Okay, so the most overused acronym in the Christian world is now the headline of my blog. Why? Cause it is worth asking. Here's the scoop.
DISCLAIMER: The contents are for mature audiences only. I thought about not posting this one, but want to have a record of it. Read at your discretion.
So after my last entry, several of us went to Tamarind, a really nice restaurant that served couscous, tangine, shish kebabs and all kinds of good stuff. It was kind of the going-away dinner for Aoife, Viv and Richard (and I counted it as my birthday party too). In addition to that crew, Viv's friend Emma from home was there, Carlyle and Rory (Dr. Gollogly's neice & nephew), Scott and his girlfriend Laura and Hugo (aka "Mr. Hottie") were in attendance. Afterwards, we adjourned to the first Friday of the month Elsewhere party.
The details of the rest of the night aren't quite as important to me as what was going on spiritually. I met a lot of expats at Elsewhere and heard a lot of really great stories about the good things that people are doing in Cambodia to try to help the local population... journalists exposing corruption, economists working to develop a stronger economy, health care workers treating HIV orphans and people in the legal system bringing justice in a corrupt system. But as the evening progressed, and my friends started leaving, I didn't feel the freedom to leave. By about 1:30, I had danced as much as I wanted to and talked to about as many people as I wanted to, but still did not feel like I had accomplished what God had set before me that night. I was frustrated, but thought I'd stay a bit longer and try to seek out what He wanted.
It didn't come. I wandered around looking for people who looked like they needed something, but didn't find anything overt. I talked with my friends, I talked with strangers, but nothing seemed to be clicking. Rory and I had been hanging out some that night, so I thought I'd stick with him and Carlyle when everyone else took off. After another hour or so, they were wanting to change venues and I had a strong sense from the Lord that I should go along.
3a.m. found me at Heart of Darkness, and the name is as descriptive as it sounds. You could feel the corruption of the place dripping from the walls. Apparently it's a legendary Cambodian night club that Rory & Carlyle said I had to experience at least once. We were there with two black guys named Roy and Sib. Sib works for the UN Khmer Rouge tribunal and has some sweet dreadlocks... he looked Jamaican to me, but he's English.
I found that I could dance worshipfully for the Lord in the middle of the Heart of Darkness. I was celebrating after all. I had just found out about passing Microbiology and was still incredibly thankful for His goodness and willingness to listen to my requests. So I danced for him. Rory warned me to avoid the Khmer girls on the dance floor, because the chances are good that they are either prostitutes or the girlfriend of a rich kid with a body guard, so I danced alone =).
I found myself praying over that place and could almost feel the opposition. One of the most powerful scenes I witnessed that pushed me to prayer was two lesbians kissing on the dance floor. They looked so lost and literally like they were trying to suck the life out of each other. I felt compassion for them because their whole countenance when apart was rife with obvious unhappiness and an attempt to cling to something, anything in this life. How would Jesus have shown them His love? I'm not sure, and hope to receive the wisdom from the Lord in the future to reach out in situations like that. Throughout the night though, I felt the presense of the Lord with me, protecting me in the midst of darkness.
4:30am found the Heart of Darkness closing and my friends ready to move again. Our next venue was a house party at the penthouse of a girl I'd met that night who was a journalist. When I walked in the door, people were doing lines of cocaine, something I'd never actually seen before. Strangely enough, I still felt that I was walking in God's will. It was a pretty laid-back scene and I soon drifted into conversation.
And discovered the purpose for my late night/early morning outing. One of the guys there found that I was a Christian and started asking me why I was at the party. What followed was an hour-long conversation about the true teachings of Christ, His lifestyle and the things that He valued. He had challenging questions for me, but the Lord gave me the wisdom to answer them all with clarity and insight. I could tell that he was touched and he began to share some of the dark secrets of his life and how he was really seeking life at the moment. Despite being filled with alcohol and cocaine, he received all the truth that I could share with him and assured me later that he would retain what I'd shared despite the drugs.
I have confidence that the Lord protected me in the midst of darkness throughout last night so that I could share His truth with a soul He is pursuing. I'm not even sure if I should be sharing this for fear that it could cause some one to stumble because going into the midst of darkness is a dangerous undertaking for anyone, myself included.
I do not know what the fruit of last night/this morning will be, but I'm beginning to understand that Christ came to seek and save what was lost... and that oftentimes, it is those people who are most receptive to Him.
2 comments:
as always, you are a great inspiration to me.
just when it feels like no one sees this stuff and no one lives the life, you always seem to come up.
-pockets
(still at ACU, but maybe not for much longer)
*btw, Papa says he's proud of you.
Wow.
My upbringing would have never let me find myself in such an environment, but as I read your story, I was struck by how "right" it can be for a Christian to be there when led by God to do so, just as Jesus was oftentimes found hanging with the wrong crowd.
You're right; it was a dangerous undertaking (and not to be recommended as a general rule), but I'm inspired(?) that your spirit was in tune enough to God's leading to go into the Heart of Darkness (I'm not really referring to the name of the club) in order to plant a seed that might rescue that man in every respect.
Just, wow.
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